


The worst Blind Date in the History of Ever

by Gunnvör (qoyzhavvorsi), qoyzhavvorsi



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Coffee Shops, Eventual Smut maybe, F/M, Female!Reader - Freeform, First Dates, Fluff, Fluffy, Gen, I'm Sorry, Or Is he?, POV Alternating, POV First Person, Reader Insert, Reader is a musician, Spencer is not very good with girls, an artist in general, baby can't drive, friendship fic, i just love the idea of Spencer with someone who has nothing to do with him, it's a mess really, kind of songfic?, unusual couples, weird relatioships, why am I doing this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-25
Updated: 2016-05-23
Packaged: 2018-05-03 09:12:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 40,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5285099
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qoyzhavvorsi/pseuds/Gunnv%C3%B6r, https://archiveofourown.org/users/qoyzhavvorsi/pseuds/qoyzhavvorsi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your best friend, Penelope Garcia, set you up on a blind date, the rules were NO STALKING no pictures and you'd only know who was the person when you'd meet him. You agreed because, why not? But then again, this was the worst idea ever. Who even does that?<br/>What if is it a creep?<br/>What if is it someone totally not your type and judgmental and ignorant and.. ugh<br/>What if ... is it a nerd?</p>
<p>Oh my, what have you put yourself into?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It's just one date.

**Author's Note:**

> First impressions on the firstist of the dates! both reader's and Spencer's. I know Reid may be a little out of character but eh, sorry. probably this is the only POV by him I'm doing all the way.  
> I still am not sure where I'm going with this but the whole idea seemed funny and easy to write So I decided to give it a go :D
> 
> Hope you enjoy it <3

_  
Why did I agree on this again? Oh right, because my best friend thinks I’m desperate for a date. I’m not, as a matter of fact. I’m taking a time for myself, maybe a long time. Okay, I just am no good with relationships and people.  
_  
  
You parked your motorcycle and jumped off, _I’m going to kill Penelope if this is a trap._  
  
Your best friend had set you up on a blind date, A TOTALLY BLIND DATE, no social medial, no stalking, no pictures, nothing. You knew there was a trap on this. Oh hell, it's just a few minutes, you could do this.  
  
  
You felt odd at the place, you really liked coffee shops but this was a fancy place, not your regular coffee parlor. You adjusted your clothes (a black pair of skinny jeans, a grey fitting t-shirt and a leather jacket, which you pull off when you entered the place letting your arm tattoos show), and walked to the indicated table. You only knew the name of who was expecting you.  
  
“Spencer Reid?” you asked hesitant to a boy – gosh you couldn't say man even tough you were about the same age – reading a book.  
  
“Yes?” he looked curious, narrowing his eyebrows, _okay he’s not ugly…he's not ugly at all._  
  
“Hi, I’m (Y/F/N)” you bit your lip nervous, on your lip ring. He had NOTHING to do with you, you already knew you’d hate it.  
  
“Oh hi!” Reid stood up, giving you  a handshake and getting your jacket and your bag “Nice to meet you, please sit” he indicated the chair in front of him, and you noticed he was analyzing your punk-ish hair and looks. You ran your hand through your (F/H/C) hair, shaved on the sides, It gave you a strange sensation of emotional comfort.  
  
“Nice to meet you too” you smiled “Penelope didn’t tell me anything about you, I was curious” you tried to start a conversation and … _did he blush?  
  
_ “That’s typical of Garcia” you had to laugh and agree “So where did you guys meet?” the waitress now came and got our orders and I found out Spencer liked very sweet coffee.  
  
“Oh, it feels like ages ago, on the underground scene, punk, goth, you know, I used to sing on this band and we used to date” you laughed at the memory and noticed his eyes were on you and he was smiling, wait now were you blushing? But he was… he was a nerd, all prepped up and nice and nothing like your typical type of guy with his sweater and tie and glasses. He looked like the type of people your friends would make fun of… You liked the hair tough, you’d give him that, the long hair was nice.  
  
“You dated Garcia?” you agreed laughing a little, he seemed uneasy at the thought, was he an homophobic prick? “Wait… are you… ?”  
  
“I don’t do labels, but yeah, I date who I date, it doesn’t matter which reproduction parts they have, it shouldn’t matter anyway. Why does it matter so much to people? I mean, all that should matter is how you feel and how you make the person feel and you two being happy and feeling loved, who cared about genitals?” You noticed you might seemed a bit rude by the way Spencer widened his eyes “Sorry, I just, I feel very strongly about it” you closed your eyes taking a sip of your coffee.  
  
“it’s okay” he mumbled “I was just surprised…” You smiled at him, who smiled back  
  
“So, tell me about you, you work with Penny, tell me about it…” You tried to make the conversation easy again and you must confess it wasn’t really that hard. Spencer was a funny guy, geeky funny, he talked all the time and on a fast pace, _you loved it_.  
  
  
You found out a mutual love for books and specially Shakespeare and as you commented a quote from Hamlet tattooed on your leg, he seemed quite curios – the first man who seemed curios about the quote not the thigh. And talked about Hamlet for hours, you found out his mother used to be a literature teacher and he had read all your favorite books, well at least the classics. You were on a battle to try to convince him to read the modern ones.  
  
  
  
The coffee shop was closing when the two of you left the place, as much as you didn’t like to admit for your so called bad reputation, you really enjoyed the nerd’s company, and he was really funny and sweet.  
  
“So, where’s your car?” you asked when the coffee shop door closed behind you.

  
“Oh I took the subway” Baby can’t drive? You smiled, handing him the helmet  
  
“C’mon I’ll ride you home” he looked at me confused as you walked to you black [Classic Harley Davidson,](http://moto.zombdrive.com/images/harleydavidson-classic-4.jpg) aka the Queen on the Dammed. Spencer stood behind, looking at the bike and then at you, speechless. “Are you afraid of motorcycles?” now you sounded honestly concerned and he seemed to remind himself to answer  
  
“I, I never rode a motorcycle…” _oh this is going to be so much fun  
  
_ “Helmet on, jump in, hold on me” you said, jumping on the bike and turning it to life, the sound of it make you feel alive and the blood pump on your veins. Spencer was still up by your side “oh, sweetie, is it that difficult?” you rolled your eyes to him, who now seemed to process all the information and was buckling the helmet and shyly holding on your waist, _was he trembling?_

  
“Are you okay?” He agreed on a head nod and you smirked, _so much fun_ “Hold on, we’re going for a ride”  
  
  
You took the longest way to the address he informed you, racing and doing some tricks on the bike just for fun, you could feel Spencer’s grip on you get tighter, you didn’t want to admit, you would NEVER admit, but you liked that, maybe he was just scared, but scary guys won’t do to you either so better scare him off on the first date, anyway.  
  
  
  
When you get to the address, Spencer jump off and gave you the helmet, you wore a big smile on your face looking at him, still you didn’t know if he hated it or was just in shock.  
  
  
  
“So?” you said on the awkward silence, you sure weren’t kissing the guy, there was no mood for it.  
  
  
“It was…nice” he said, his voice almost dying in his throat, _okay he got scared_  “you should really wear a helmet too you know, it’s dangerous” you rolled you eyes and he stopped, you were already putting it on anyways “The night I mean, it was nice (Y/N), thanks for coming, and thanks for the ride” he was adorably and awkwardly holding his bag and fixing his messy hair.  
  
“Nah, don’t worry about it” you shrugged, smiling… _wait were you blushing again?_ “this was my way home anyways, and I loved the night and the conversations and the coffee. You should really try those books I told you about”  
  
“I will” his smile got bigger and both of us didn’t quite know how to say the goodbyes, you were still on the motorcycle, he was on my side.  
  
“So, I guess that’s it? Goodnight then…” you lean over to awkwardly hug him and gave him a small kiss on the cheek “Thanks again…c’mon I’ll wait you get in” he agreed with a nod  
  
“Goodnight (Y/N)” Spencer was halfway to his building when you did the only thing you swore yourself in the beginning of this night you wouldn’t do.  
  
  
“Hey Spencer!” you jump off the bike and went in his direction, _why were you doing this?_ “M band and I, we are playing an acoustic set on this cool place on Friday, It’s a bar downtown, we played there before, it’s really nice… if you have nothing else to do or would like to come, well, I’d be happy to see you there, I can put your name  on my guest list so it’s free. I’ll call Garcia too” you were now rambling words and there was a smile on Spencer’s face  
  
“Of course, I’d love to” smiled at his response, trying not to look more idiot than you already were.  
  
“Nice, give me your phone” you said and he doubted a second “just gimme ” he handed you the phone and you added your contact to it, calling your own number so his number would be registered. “That’s my number, we keep in touch, see you on Friday. Goodnight. Bye!” You tiptoed to reach his cheek and kiss it again, now his hands were on your waist as you did so, on the next second you were running to your bike and going home.  
  
_What was going on your head?  
_  
**Spencer’s P.O.V.**  
  
_  
_ I still don’t understand why Penelope insists so much that I go on dates, I know it’s a human thing, bonding and mating and all, I just don’t see a reason to do it all the time and at random. At least I got a nice book to wait for this stranger. Garcia told me it was her friend, that she was interesting and beautiful, not that looks mattered the most to me, it didn’t at all, actually, I just didn’t feel like meeting anyone at this point of my life.  
  
Everytime the bell rang indicating someone entered the coffee shop I would look up to see if it was my date, apparently nothing. For sure she wasn’t going to come, who shows up on blind dates on this day and age? A woman with black clothing entered the place, she seemed kind of lost… she came in my direction, wait, was she?  
  
“Spencer Reid?” Yes, she was, I took a moment to take it all in. The tattoos, the lip piercing, the smudged make up and, is it a mohawk? Is your head shaved lady?  
  
“Hi I’m (Y/N)” her voice sounded nothing like her appearance, it sounded sweet and calm, you looked at her and it screamed aggressiveness, but her (y/e/c) were loving and so deep when I fell into them it took me a minute to get back on my train of thought, also she had the biggest smile I’ve ever seen, an honest smile. She looked nothing like the aggressiveness on her appearance let it show.  
  
The conversation was incredibly easy to keep, she was smart, sassy, intelligent and had a passion for books, which I must admit was a more than a surprise.  
And of course she rode a Harley Davidson, just for the sake of it, of course. And of course she had to offer me a ride.  
Not that I didn’t want to accept it, I did wanted to, but motorcycles are not safe, it’s a fact.  
  
And then there was the most surprising fact of the night, when we got to my building and had said the goodbyes, I was pretty sure that that was it. A one time date, I mean, we were the complete opposite of almost everything. And (Y/N) jumped out of her bike and run to me, asking me out, _asking me out?_ Well, she did asked if I wanted to see her and her band on Friday and said she would be expecting me… She gave me her phone number and all.  
  
And she kissed me, twice. On the cheek but it still counts right? The feeling of her warm lips and the cold lip ring gave me a new sensation on my lower stomach I didn’t know I could feel, at least I thought that was because of the warm and cold mixture. Now all I could think of was how would be like to actually kiss her, not that I believed that it would somehow happened.  
  
  
_What is happening, Spencer Reid?_  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Wild flowers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> after the blind date and the invitation to another one you talk - A LOT - to Penelope about what happened, and try to figure out your mixed up feeling and impressions on the nerd you just met while trying to prepare yourself to a new step on your dream career.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is slightly shorter and kind of boring, i'd say, but i had to write it to get where i'm going with everything. Also yays for girls who get shit done

You were on the bath when your phone rang, indicating a text, you had no doubt from who it was: Penelope

 

_Penny: Tell me everything, girl!_

 

You had to reply her, everything was still confused on your mind. You didn’t exactly hated Spencer, but he wasn’t your cup of tea either. Maybe  you were just being judgmental? Oh damn, you were being judgmental! You picked up the phone to reply, still on the bathtub

 

_Me: Really, Penny? A nerd?_

_Penny: Oh, tell me he isn’t the prettiest thing you’ve ever seen._

 

That was true, he was pretty, damn pretty. _Wait, why am I smiling? Stop smiling (Y/N)_.

 

_Me: I invited him for the gig on Friday, are you still coming?_

 

_Penny: OMG YOU DID? DID YOU KISS HIM? IS HE OVER? DID YOU GUYS MAKE OUT? ARE YOU GUYS GONNA MARRY AND MAKE BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN FOR ME TO BE A GODMOM?_

_Penny: Of course I’m coming, can I bring someone?_

_Me: Penny stop! Just…I asked if he wanted to go cuz he seemed nice and cool and I liked talked to him and it’s gonna be an acoustic set, not the usual rock mess, he’d fit better. And Derek’s name is already on the list, you know Gabe has eyes on him too LOL_

 

Gabe was your drummer, a flamboyant, amazing, shinning human being, also gay as one can be but no one ever messed with him cuz he was Gabe, and everyone respected him on the scene.

 

_Penny: Oh don’t he dare to try something with my man (Y/N)_

_Me: “your man”? really penny? DETAILS_

_Penny: stfu_

_Me: <3_

_Penny: so did you like Reid or not?_

_Me: I did, kind of. We’re different, I don’t know, but he’s sweet._

_Penny:  He’s the sweetest you’ll ever meet doll, keep that in mind,_

_You read that text over and over, not knowing how to respond to that. But why were you worrying after all?_

_Me: okay, lets have fun and see what happens_

_Penny: That’s my girl <3_

 

You were sorting the songs for the gig, it was different from the others because it usually involved more calm songs and ballads, but you'd sing and play almost anything really. The acoustics usually consisted in you and Gabe, two acoustic guitars, a ukulele and acoustic drums. Ironically, they were the sets that pay the best and require the least amount of rehearsals.

 

 

You fell asleep deeply, only waking up on the next morning, who the hell call you at 8 am?

 

"Hmm" you groaned, not opening your eyes

 

"(Y/N)?" the voice was hesitant

 

"Yeah, who is it?" you were now sitting on the bed, trying to focus your mind

 

"Spencer, Spencer Reid...from yesterday..." _Of course he'd call the next day_ , you ran your fingers through your hair, smiling unconsciously.

 

"Sure, hi Spencer, did you sleep well?" you could swear he was smiling on the other side and the words from Penelope came to your mind. Indeed he was sweet.

 

"Oh i did, thank you, how about you?" I slept about 3 hours Reid, thanks.

 

"Great" the silence...you could hear him walking down the street.

 

"I wanted to tell you I had a great time yesterday, thank you for it, and for everything and yeah...I really liked it" okay that was cute, awkwardly cute. You wanted to smack him for his cuteness now. Wait, what? You shook your head out of these thoughts.

 

"Oh!" Really that is the sound that you managed to make? "That's nothing Spencer... I mean, I really liked it too" the smile that insisted on not leaving your face.

 

"Great! So... I gotta go to work, I’ll see you Friday then?"

 

"Sure" what was that? You were the one who invited him

 

"Great, bye (Y/N) see you" and he hung up before you could answer. 

 

What just happened? And why were you so happy? You decided to text the one who put you into this

 

_Me: Spencer just called me to thank me for the date, literally WTF gurl_

 

It took Penelope a few minutes to reply you, you guessed she was going to work to, or already there, since she and Spencer worked together. You were making coffee when the beep on your phone let you know there was a text.

 

_Penny: HE JUST SAID YOU ARE REALLY NICE. OMG CAN I SHIP IT?? I SHIP IT_

 

_Me: wait what? What is going on i mean for realzzzzz_

_Penny: he's totally in love with you_

_Me: this is ridiculous, he's not. He's being nice_

_Penny: OMG YOU ARE IN LOVE TOO_

_Me: IM NOT IN LOVE PENELOPE FOR FUCKS SAKE the guy's a nerd_

_Penny: a very cute nerd_

_Me: indeed, but still, how would I look on the scene after dating Jason simply showing up with a nerd who works on the FBI?_

 

 

Jason  was your ex boyfriend and he wasn’t the calmest person ever, he worked at the bar you met Penelope, he was a big guy, and you knew he wasn’t always clean of troubles (no one on that bar was), bringing someone from the FBI there would be a huge a problem.

  
  
_Penny: they would think you are a badass  
  
Me: Yeah, a badass traitor, that’s what they would think. Whatever I just met the guy, chill gurl, let it be.  
  
Penny: boo you whore_  
  
Really? Mean girls, Garcia?  
  
You laughed at the screen and left your phone aside, starting to get dressed to your day job as a receptionist on a local tattoo shop.  
  
  
The day passed by without any other comments about your date, except from your boss, Meg, an awesome tattoo artist and other people who worked there. You invited everyone for your gig and you were really excited, you and Gabe were trying a new setlist, you’d call it your “soft side” but at the same time for once you could really blast your voice all the way without feeling the power of guitars and drums on the way. It was scary and exciting.  
  
  
  
  
  
It was finally Friday, and you didn’t want to admit but you were way too nervous about it, you liked the punk scene because your voice didn’t need to be perfect. Now it needed to be. And your friends would be there, and Spencer would be  there. _Wait, were you really nervous about Spencer?_  
  
Meg had given you the day off, she knew it was a big day for you and you’ve been working your ass off on that shop, so yeah, it was more than welcome. You decided not to talk to anyone today until show time, save your voice and all that thing you see professional singers do all the time.  
  
You were interrupted from your concentration and memorizing the lyrics of the setlist by the doorbell. You weren’t expecting anybody, but it could be Gabe so you just opened the door. For your surprise, it wasn’t your bandmate. It was a delivery boy, with flowers. A beautiful bouquet of wildflowers.  
  
“I’m sorry kiddo, you got the wrong address” no one ever sent you flowers and no one you knew would  
  
“Aren’t you (Y/N)” he read it on the paper and you agreed, wide eyed. “These are for you, ma’am”  
  
“Oh, thanks!” you took the flowers and put it on a stool grabbing a tip and a small chocolate bar to the boy “Have a nice day!” he smiled back at you, waving a goodbye.  
  
You look suspicious at the flowers. Wild flowers. What does it mean? You saw a small card on it and picked it up.  
  
  
  
_“The flowers are for good luck tonight. The wild reminds me of you.  
  
S. R. “  
_  
  
  
Oh no he didn’t.  
  
  
  
You spent some minutes in shock, no one ever sent you flowers. Not even when your family members died, not on your birthdays, not when you got engaged to Jason that prick… and he, he sent you flowers after a first date?  
  
After you could understand your actions you had changed your clothes and was jumping on your bike, going to the BAU building.  
You parked the Queen and looked on the mirror, you looked presentable. Yesterday’s eyeliner still smudged now was giving you an interesting look and your hair was always a mess anyway. Yeah, you looked nice.  
You called Penelope hoping she could answer  
  
  
“Yes??” the little exciting voice on the other side was fast, but you didn’t wanna to explain, just had to do what you had to do, before you lost the guts to do it  
  
“He sent me flowers…” Penelope chuckled sweetly on the other side “Penny, I’m down here, can you gimme a free pass so I can do a thing I need to do?”  
  
“Wait, are you here, on the BAU?” you confirmed with a groan, getting more and more nervous by the minute.  “Okay I’m going down”  
  
It took a few minutes for Penelope to give you a free pass to go into the BAU building with all the security going on, it was a Federal building after all.  
  
“So, what’s so important?” She asked with a smirk on her face, on the elevator to her floor, you didn’t answer, breathing deeply.  
  
“Something stupid…” you whispered again before the doors opened, you walked out of the elevator confident, your eyes hunting for your prey.  
  
  
  
“Hey (Y/N), what are you doing here?” Derek’s voice made you turn your head and you saw him, who was now looking at you like he had seen a ghost. You knew Penelope was right behind you, watching it all with a smile on her face.  
  
“Hi…” Spencer said as you approached, standing up.  
  
You didn’t say a word, pulling him by his tie and kissing him hungrily, your hands going to the back of his neck, playing with his hair. He took a second to respond, but hold you firmly by your waist, pulling your body even closer to his, as a moan died on the back of your throat. His tongue asked for permission into your mouth, exploring it on a deep, but loving way, so different from all the other guys you knew. You were drag out of your moment from a hysterically laughing Derek Morgan and the need for air, you bit Spencer’s lips playfully before letting it go, looking deep into his eyes with a smile.  
  
“I’ll see you tonight then?” you whispered, your eyes going from his eyes to his lips, his eyes locked on your lips. Spencer agreed with his head, still holding your waist and you gave him a small kiss, before letting go of him.  
  
“Bye (Y/N)” Derek said again as you passed by his table  
  
“See you tonight, Morgan, and you better be on fire” you winked at him, trying not to blush from the scene that just happened.  
  
“I always am, baby, I always am” he was still laughing.  
  
“thanks I’ll talk to you later okay?” you hugged Penelope, kissing her cheek “I love you” she smile back at you and you went into the elevator  
  
_What did I do?  
  
  
  
  
_______________________  
  
  
_  
**Spencer’s P.O.V.**  
  
It’s Friday, I saw wild flowers. Anything wild now reminds me of her.  
  
note: the lip ring indeed adds a cold touch to the kiss, not too much, just the right amount to make it… interesting, wild.  
_The best I’ve ever had._  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, reviews, comments and requests are always welcome!
> 
> Stay safe, love ya <3


	3. Friday, Am I in Love?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> finally the gig you were expecting and everything about it, also the feels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, happy thanksgiving to my american darlings!  
> We don't really celebrate it on my country but I know it's a big thing over there so yeah, celebrate and be safe ^^
> 
> Next chapter might have some smut, but might only be up by Sunday since Friday and Saturday are the days I work the most, sorry.
> 
> This one is super duper long, tough. I hope you like it.

Three hours to the gig, you were already showered and had Gabe was doing your "glam" make up, since his day job was at a big make up store and he knew a lot more about it than you.

 

"You have to look fancy, darling, your boyfriend is going to be there" you rolled your eyes at the expression. Gabe didn't stop teasing you about Spencer since you told him. 

 

"Just don't make me look like a fucking barbie doll, please" your puppy eyes blinking at him, who agreed, annoyed.

 

"Ok we can go with some classic cat eye and... Do you want your classic red lipstick?" Your red lipstick was your signature make up look, of course you did.

 

"I have some long lasting kissing proof in there" you pointed your make up bag and Gabe tossed a nasty look at you

 

"Guuuurl you naughty!" _Oh damn!_ Now you blushed "I'm so happy for you! Finally getting over that piece of shit of your ex" you left a sigh, making Gabe stop and look at you "Don't tell me you still love that asshole?"

 

"Hell, Gabe, I don't! I just, I'm worried, I'm always worried about the day I'm gonna meet someone and what of Jason takes it bad and hell breaks loose” you were now being honest, not that your ex was still in love with you or wasn’t over the break up, he just didn’t want you with anyone else. Sick bastard.  
  
“Don’t worry, sweetie, your man works on the FBI, no one is gonna mess with you” if you could move your face, you would, but Gabe was ‘sculpting’ or so he said.  
  
“Yeah, sure. You think he’s what? Derek Morgan?” you laughed at the heavy sigh Gabe let out “Spencer is a doctor, he’s like… all brains, he loves Shakespeare too” you mentioned, musing over the doctor  
  
“Gosh, isn’t he a little young?” Gabe was a little too annoyed Spencer didn’t have any social media he could stalk  
  
“He’s older than me!” you were now laughing, but indeed he looks like a boy. “He’s a genius, 187 IQ and all, graduated high school at 12!” you still were amazed at those facts and the facts that a person like that took interest on you. You were horrible on school, barely graduating on the right age. On college you got by because: arts.  
  
“Look our little love bird here” Gabe had finished your cat eye and you could roll your eyes, otherwise you would.  
  
“I am not” he laughed at you.  
  
“How’s the sex?” you almost gasped at the question, _what?  
_  
“We didn’t” now it was your turn to laugh at Gabe’s incredulous face “Seriously, and on the date, we didn’t even kiss. I mean, I kissed him today because he sent me flowers and was all lovely and nice and I went over and kissed him and that’s all but yeah… that’s pretty much it” Gabe was frozen in front of you, tub of mascara on his hand.  
  
“Oh my gee, what are you?? What you did to my friend?? And really, who is this guy, does he have a gay brother? Is he gay?” _I don’t know but I pretty much think he’s at least bisexual, Gabes_

  
“First, the date had no mood for nothing like that, we were talking about literature and books all the time and not flirting or anything. His mother raised him, he’s just a nice guy. It’s a rare thing nowadays, but they exist. And don’t worry, if he’s gay, he’s all yours.” You smiled at your friend, now picking a shade of red from your lipsticks.  
  
“Are you gonna invite him over today?” He asked after you decided the shade of red, you haven’t thought of it. Gosh, you haven’t even thought of how would be your reaction facing him after the kiss.  
  
“Maybe” he’s not the type who’d force you to have sex anyway, doesn’t look like at least. “I really wanna talk to him more, get to know him better” you noticed the naughty smile on Gabe’s lips and would hit him if he wasn’t finishing your make up “That’s not what I meant”  
  
“Yeah right… Okay girl, you’re all ready here. Whatcha gonna do with your hair?” he asked while you checked yourself on the mirror.  
  
“I don’t know, maybe a high bun” you shrugged, starting to work on your hairdo.  
  
  
____________________  
  
  
One hour later you were going to the bar, you had done a high bun, a few hair loses around your face. By some miracle of Heavens above, you were wearing a dress, a black dress. Okay, a replica of Wednesday Addam’s dress with your favorite spiked combat boots, but still, a dress. Gabe said you looked like a dark version of Tinker Bell, that was a cute comment on your mind and you felt pretty.  Gabe had a black skinny jeans and a black fitting T-shirt and somehow looked more pulled together than you, _how does he always do that?_

 

 **[On the bar]**  
  
  
Gabe and you were arranging everything on the stage when you saw your friends were already there. Actually, he saw Derek entering the place.  
  
“Oh oh, my man just walked in” your first thought was _‘who is it gonna be tonight?’_ Gabe was an actual man-whore, if that’s even a thing, then you saw Derek on the bar stool.  
  
He had a major crush on Morgan for a long time now and it doesn’t matter how many times you told him Morgan was very much heterosexual, he would always reply that ‘ _everyone think they are until they are not’_ and wink at you. You couldn’t care less, actually, as long as it didn’t hurt Penelope’s feelings. You knew there was some complicated thing going on between her and Morgan.  
  
You saw Penelope sitting on a table near the stage and waved at her, you were finishing to arrange your acoustic guitar and would talk to her on a bit.  
  
“Hey” you smiled at both Penelope and Derek, greeting both of them with a hug “glad you guys make it!” Gabe was now getting two scotches, one for you and one for him, ‘it warms up the voice’.  
  
“Hey at yourself all pretty” Penelope’s eyes were shinning at you, like a kid who sees a brand new doll “I think I never saw you on a dress before”  
  
“Don’t get used to it” you played, when you lifted your eyes to meet Spencer’s. He was starstruk on the door, looking at you. You felt yourself getting warmer and blushing and Derek and Penelope turned around, Derek chuckled.  
  
At the same time, Gabe reach you with the drinks, you took your all at once.  
“Wow, easy tigress we have a gig to play” he said looking at the direction your eyes were, Spencer was now talking to the hostess and walking in “Oh, go on, go get him” and he lightly push you on the direction Spencer was coming.  
  
  
“Hi…” your voice almost died on your throat, _what the fuck?  
  
_ “Hi…you look very beautiful” his eyes were locked on yours, both of you blushing.  
  
“Thanks…” you mumbled, you sure didn’t know what to do, but you lean over and lightly kissed him. Spencer closed his eyes, breathing for a second. You could hear your friends swooning over the two of you on your back  
  
“Aren’t they cute?” Penelope’s voice sounded like she just saw a puppy or something. You rolled your eyes and Spencer scoffed a laugh.   
  
“Come with me” you held Spencer hand, intertwining your fingers without thinking about it and went to the “backstage” with him.  
  
“WE ARE UP IN 20 MINUTES, PLEASE LET IT JUST BE A QUICKIE” Gabe said as you passed by them, Gosh you wanted to shoot him in the face right now. Derek exploded into laughter and you just gave them the finger.  
  
  
  
You entered the small room with Spencer and locked the door behind the two of you, it wasn’t really a dressing room or anything like that, it was more like a “we put everything here” room but you needed some space to talk to him alone so this would work.  
  
“Spencer, listen, I’m sorry about Gabe…” you still were embarrassed about your friend’s words, you knew Spencer was a shy guy, he smiled a little, lifting up your chin, facing the floor.

  
“it’s okay” you smiled black at him feeling the sensation of his hand on your face, your other hand still on his.

  
“I never thanked you for the flowers, and the card…” you said coming back to your own mind “you didn’t have to, they were really lovely” you were blushing even more and your smile got bigger.

 

“I thought that on the BAU was a thank you…” he looked genuinely confused and just too lovely _Oh my Gosh I am swooning over a nerd.  
_ “I think that was not thank you enough” you said cupping his face gently with both your hands, reaching his lips with yours, on a slow kiss. This one was way deeper and more intense than the first, even though it was calmer. There was no one there except you and Spencer, no one to interrupt you, no eyes over the two of you.  
  
Spencer pushed you to the wall on your back and you moaned, smiling into the kiss, maybe the shy little nerd wasn’t so shy after all? His hands were on your waist and now up and down your sides, biting your lip. You started to work on his jawline and neck, kissing and nipping, leaving one occasional bite or two, just to hear him moan, but not leaving any hickeys as much as you liked to. You moved your hips towards him just to feel his breath become heavier as his grip on your waist became tighter. One of his hands went to the back of your neck, holding your face up and looking at you, his eyes widened at lust and you smirked. Pretty boy.  
  
A knock on the door made you jump a little and swear under your breath  
  
“Sweetie, I don’t know how busy you’re in there but we’re up in less than 10 minutes, make yourself presentable and come out” Gabe’s voice announced as Spencer tried his best to straight up his clothes and fix his hair, you just loved mess his hair up.  
  
“I’m coming in a second” after saying that Gabe laughed out loud and it took you a minute to notice how inappropriate that might sound on his dirty little mind. You just shook your head trying not to be too blushed and looked at Spencer. “Is my make up too messed up?”  
  
“You look like a princess” he had a sweet smile and you just had to smile back, how can a guy like this be real? in your life? You turned your back to unlock the door but suddenly stopped. _Oh, screw it._  
  
“Spencer, do you wanna go to my place after the gig is over?” you looked back at him and it looked like he was processing the information “we can just talk, I mean we don’t …it’s just, you’re so nice” you started rambling again when he took a while to respond.  
  
“Of course, I’d love to” Spencer was as red as your lipstick, you turned your back at him again unlocking the door  “I like you too” he whispered almost on your earlobe, _what?_  
  
“Finally!!!” Gabe was waiting on the hallway and saw Spencer passed by you two mumbling a _‘good luck’_ “hey, what’s that huge smile for?” now your friend had his evil smile on his face again, but you decided not to say anything, thinking about the whispered words that made your stomach turn.  
  
“Nothing! Let’s go, let’s kick some ass!” you said before turning your usual shot of Bailey’s with Gabe. It was a tradition of your band, before a concert all of you did a shot of Bailey’s for luck.  
  
“Now we’re talking!” he said as both of you went up the little stage.  
  
“Hi, thanks for coming. We’re Diploid Love and we’re your entertainers for the evening” usually you’d say ‘we’re here to raise some hell’ but it didn’t seem like the right place to do so, there was lots of families here and well, let’s keep it PG-16.  
  
You started with some songs like Florence and the Machine and Adele, mixing with versions of 80’s classics like Bon Jovi, AC/DC, Black Sabbath, some 90’s grunge and indie music. You really liked these sessions for the freedom of it; you could explore the potential of your voice and what you liked despite of labels. You noticed Spencer’s eyes were on you all night, it was quite intimidating to be honest, but you loved nevertheless. Some songs you make sure to keep eye contact with him, some lovely, some more…naughty, leaving him uneasy on his seat only with your voice and eyes alone. It was really funny to watch and you had to hold yourself not to laugh a couple of times. Derek and Penelope totally got your game and were laughing at it, making it all harder.  
Your last song was “Here’s to Us” by Halestorm, you loved that tune and make sure to always toast to your audience with it.  
  
You thanked the people there, especially your friends, Meg was there too and she ended up sitting with Penny, Derek and Spencer since she came with her sister who were also a tattoo artist; and went backstage being followed closer by Gabe.  
  
“You rocked, my diva!” you got a bottle of water and smiled at him, Gabe had an awesome voice too, and singed in most of the songs as well.  
  
“I really miss the punk shit, though. Where’s the screaming, the moshpits, the throwing yourself on the crowd?” Gabe laughed, his phone started ringing and he got overly excited, which means it probably was a boy. You left him there and went grab your guitar and ukulele, starting to pack up your stuff.  
  
  
“So, what did you think?” you asked to your friends when finished packing part of the instruments, they all looked at each other.  
  
“Wow girl, I didn’t know you could sing like that, I mean, I knew you could sing and scream and raise a damn hell over the face of the earth but wow” Meg said, smiling, you hugged her so tight you had to say sorry. She was always so kind and nice to you, she was like a sister.  
  
“I am speechless” Penny said and you held her hand whispering ‘I love you’ to her  
  
“It was incredible, (Y/N), really, your name should be on the spotlight” Derek added and you chuckled, you never dreamed that big, you just wanted to make art, to live art. And then you looked at Spencer, whose eyes were on you all the time, but he didn’t say anything. It made you feel kind of uneasy at the beginning but you relaxed as soon as the waitress brought your drink.  
  
“Thank you, really, it means a lot you all could come over” you said again, now Gabe had reappeared and was finishing packing, apparently he had a last minute date in 15 minutes, meaning he had a booty call and was in a hurry.  
  
“Are you coming?” he asked me when he finished packing the stuff on his car, we were alone outside the bar.  
  
“No, I’m going home with Spencer, but thanks…” his grin got wider and he messed my hair a bit  
  
“I want all the details tomorrow” Gabe kissed my forehead and got into the car “Love you girl, bye!”  
  
“Bye Gabe, be safe!” you said before he left, waving at you  
  
  
  
You went back inside to find your friends were ready to leave too, you looked at them confused at first, and then looked at Spencer.  
  
“Do you need a ride, (Y/N)?” Meg asked, kindly. You looked at Spencer, he had car keys on his hand.  
  
“No, I’m fine. I’m going with Spencer, it’s on his way anyways” she smiled at you, and then looked at Penny and Derek who were also looking at the two of you.  
  
“Okay then, I’ll see you tomorrow at 11 A.M., don’t be late” she said hugging you “enjoy the night” she whispered on your ear, winking as she walked away.  
  
“I guess we’re going too, right?” Penelope looked at Derek, who agreed “See you Monday, Reid. (Y/N), I’ll call you. Loved the show. Love ya” she hugged you, going to Spencer next. You said your goodbyes to Derek, who didn’t miss the chance to crack a joke on you about leaving with Spencer.  
  
  
“Finally” you said when they left, turning to him, there was a small smile on his face “what?” you smiled back at him  
  
“Nothing, you just… nothing” he looked down, laughing a little, you punched him softly on the shoulder  
  
“Tell me” your arms crossed in front of you, his smile grew bigger.  
  
“Aw, aren’t you lovely? _Am i?_ “I don’t know, It sounded funny how relieved you were to be alone with me” he shrugged  
  
“Well, we’re not alone yet” you almost singed the phrase “Please can we go, I wanna take off this dress and let my hair go of this damn hair prison” you noticed how inappropriate the first part of your comment sound but you just didn’t care, not with Spencer, not anymore. He agreed and took your hand, which surprised you, but also made you all warm and giggly inside. _What the actual fuck?  
  
_ His car was just across the street and you quickly put your guitars in and jumped on the passengers seat, turning on the radio. Spencer was about to say something but you were faster.  
  
“Ah ha, I’m a guest on your car, I choose the music. Also, **I am** a lady” you make your best ladylike expression, making Spencer chuckle in return and surprisingly kiss you before buckling up the seat belt and starting the car.  
  
  
  
**SPENCER’S P.O.V.**  
  
  
As I entered the bar I saw her. She was a vision. Not the best poems on the world from all the lovers could explain the glow around her on that stage. And her smiles, something on her smile make the whole world light up.  
  
And she kissed me again, how can an angel like her be with me, a simple, flawed mortal being? Her voice was like a siren singing men to their damnation, enchanting them to death… I wouldn’t mind to die for her, by her. The moment she took my hand I knew I would go anywhere with her.  
I couldn’t even describe seeing her singing. Perfection and beauty were too little, if there was a god above he might be jealous of he grace. She couldn’t be real. Yet, she is here in my car. Holding my hand. _She’s with me._  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading!  
> What are you guys thinking of the mini Spencer's P.O.V's on the end? I just enjoy writing them, but I dont feel like I could write a whole chapter on his point of view.  
> please let me know ^^


	4. Hamlet is still an awesome pick up like

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer went to your house after the gig, you guys talked, lots of feels, things heat up a little and stuff 
> 
> Still no smut here, though (sorry to disappoint those who wait), I just thought It'd be funnier this way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The version from "Memory" I listen the most is this one by Epica: https://youtu.be/EuOqYqxqEOU  
> feel free to listen while reading (or not, haha don't worry ^^)
> 
> BTW, Special thanks to SpnFobAndPatd who left my first ever comment and make me super excited about this little story again, thanks darling <3
> 
> Also, this got way longer than I thought, but this is not a problem, is it? <3

The whole way to your house was basically you mumbling songs and giving Spencer the right directions, learning he only got your address by Penelope, but he didn’t actually knew where it was. You’d never admit that not even to yourself, but you were nervous, it was by far, not the first time you invited a guy over but Spencer was so… unique, you were afraid he’d think you’re boring or shallow.  
  
  
  
“That’s it, welcome to the Dragon’s Nest” you said, as you opened the door and made a gesture for him to come in. Spencer stood by your side as you took of your boots by the door, he took off his shoes as well and you could see he used mismatched socks. _Oh my you could just smack the cuteness out of him._  
  
“Dragon’s Nest?” he narrowed his brows at you, with half a smile.  
  
“I am Tiamat, the dragon goddess” you said, on a playful tone, biting his cheek and laughing a little “Please make yourself home, it’s small and messy and no fancy at all… like your truly” you made a small courtesy going to the balcony that held a few beverages and separated the living room from the kitchen “do you want something?”  
  
“Anything you’re having” he said looking around at your bookshelf and LPs “Do you like opera? Really?” Spencer seemed surprised, finding you’re the Phantom of The Opera special box.  
  
“Yep, Phantom is one of my favorites, and Cats, I love Cats with all my heart” you said sitting on the couch with two bottles of water, your bottle of Bailey’s and two shot glasses. “That’s what I went to college for actually, arts, singing. I can actually sing… well, I don’t know if I can still hit some of those high notes but yeah…” you noticed Spencer’s eyes were on you all the time and now he had abandoned the shelves and was sitting by your side on the couch. You were working fast on undoing your hairdo to let your hair fall down.  
  
“Can you sing it?” _What?_ You looked surprised at Spencer. “Sorry, it’s just… Can you sing? Anything… I wanted to hear your voice, just… your voice, and it’s seems so amazing and…” now he was rambling and you were extremely confused.  
  
“I thought you didn’t like it, I mean, you said nothing about the concert...” you admitted on a low voice tone, almost ashamed of it.  
  
“It’s the most beautiful voice I’ve ever listen” he whispered, making you extremely self conscious now, and your stomach turn multiple times around. Spencer had taken your hand on both of his “please, anything?” his puppy eyes were way too lovely and you just couldn’t deny it.  
  
“Okay, I can’t promise it’ll be perfect, hell, it’ll probably be messy and wrong, but yeah… Memory, from Cats.” you adjusted your posture, took a few breathes and started the song, of course your voice was worn out and tired and you missed a few notes and could reach others but at the point of the lyrics when it says _‘if you touch me you’d understand what happiness is’_ you felt your lips being covered up by Spencer’s. Part of you was relieved because no way in hell you could reach the last note, part of you were even more happy because it was him – but the last one you’d never admit, just, never.  
  
  
“It was perfect” he breathed against your lips, softly, caressing you cheeks. You went for his lips again, a fire starting on your loins, all you knew now is that you wanted him, that you needed him, _now_.  
  
“Spencer…” you whispered, between kisses. He was blushed and you knew you were too.  
  
“I’m sorry…” he tried to straighten himself up on the couch and fixing his hair, you smirked , holding his chin and making him face you.  
  
“Don’t be, I want you.” You make sure to look into his eyes as you said the words, trying too hard not to blush “I don’t know why, and damn, I know we are like two complete opposites on everything, but I want you so bad I could just rip your clothes off and sink my teeth down your skin until I make you forget your own name” Spencer lick his lips breathing deeply, _Gosh, his lips_.  
  
“Why?” his voice was low, _why?_ You laughed a little.  
  
“Spencer, I never met someone like you, you’re kind and lovely and charming. You understand about books and literature and well, everything…” now you were sure you looked stupid, musing over him. “You have no idea of how fascinating you are, do you?”  
  
“I can’t sing…” he was sincere and you laughed again, kissing him softly, you parted the kiss and laid your forehead on his.  
  
“Come with me” as you stood up, guiding him by your hand to your bedroom.  
  
  
  
  
  
Spencer’s breath was heavy on your back as he was softly trembling. _He’s nervous_ , and you realized you were too.  You pushed him into the bed, laughing and jumping on his side, your bed was super soft. Spencer laughed, surprised at your act, and threw himself over you, holding you down by your sides.  
  
“You are beautiful… you are the most beautiful woman in the world” he looked into your (e/c) eyes, caressing your hair and face. You closed your eyes for a second, feeling the comfort. “You are precious, and intelligent, and smart, and I couldn’t dream on anyone better… I get breathless every time I look at you, I couldn’t say anything today because there’s not enough words to describe you or how marvelous you are to me.” You had genuine tears if emotion on your eyes, _how can he do this to you?_  
  
  
Spencer kissed down the few tears that rolled down your cheeks, you never felt so vunerable but you never felt so cared. One side of you wanted it to be over, for him to fuck you senseless and leave like everyone else, or just break this whole fairytale myth. The main part of you wanted it to be real, wanted it so bad, someone to care for you, to be there for you, some love you never knew and honestly thought you never would.  
  
He kissed you softly, coming from your cheeks to your jawline, making his way to your lips. His kisses were not lustful or greedy, they were caring, loving, devoted. Both his hands were holding yours, fingers intertwined. You put one of your legs up his waist, locking his body with yours, he looked down and could see your said Hamlet thigh tattoo, as your dress fell down. Spencer read it, smiling back at you, now you could see some lust filling his warm brown eyes.  
  
  
_“Doubt thou the stars are fire,_

_Doubt that the sun doth move,_

_Doubt truth to be a liar,_

_But never doubt I love.”_

  
He had read it, and of course he recognized it. It was one of the most known Hamlet quotes, a love letter from Hamlet to Ophelia, your surprise was when he kept on talking, like he knew the whole play from his heart. Spencer’s soft fingers were on your thigh, over each word of the tattoo, and then he looked into your eyes.  
  
“ _O dear Ophelia, I am ill at these numbers. I have not art to reckon my groans, but that I love thee best, oh, most best, believe it. Adieu.”_ Your smile and admiration grew wider for him, who now seemed proud of his knowledge of the play.  
  
“Why didn’t we meet sooner?” you cried as you pulled him down to a kiss, now it was a heated one. His touch on you almost made you go insane.  
  
On a fast move, you pushed him down the bed, sitting on his lap and starting to work on the buttons of his shirt, _God, he is beautiful_. His hands were on the back of your dress, unbuttoning it for you, who took it off, revealing a matching set of black lacey lingerie adorning your inked skin.  
  
“You’re so beautiful” he whispered as your hands traced up and down his torso and you leaned down to lay kisses on his skin, going for his collarbone and neck and stopping by his earlobe  
  
“I can be very good too, a very good girl” you whispered to him, only to feel him shiver under your touch, your hand when down his abdomen, getting closer to his pants and you moved your hips. You sucked a soft spot on his neck at the same time, getting a groan from him. _Delicious_  
  
His hands once on your hips and back, nails deep on your skin now were everywhere, you were driving him crazy just as much as he was driving you just being you he was. You would enjoy every second of it.  
  
  
Well, you would.  
  
  
  
A telephone rang, once, twice, three, four times.  
  
  
  
“Fuck! No, no,no!” Spencer cried out and you got away from him, confused, what was it? He looked at you “Just, give me one second ok? Please, sorry” he kissed you fast and got his phone on the living room, you could hear some swearing and some talking. You never heard Spencer swearing before, it was…funny, to say the least. As he came back to the room, you were sitting on the bed with your bed _‘come here’_ expression and you swear he mumbled _‘I hate my job’_  
  
“It was from the BAU…” _Oh… right._ “We are on this track of a serial killer on Kansas for months now and we gotta go… they’re expecting us on the plane on 39 minutes” You new your eyes suddenly look sadder as your night got ruined “Look sorry, I mean, I wanted this as much as you, damn I do want this and you so bad I just am considering not doing my job and…there’s you here and …all of you” he had a desperation tone on his voice, on a gesture signalizing your body, you just had to laugh, he looked like a little boy, lost. You stood up and got his shirt, handing it to him.  
  
“Don’t worry, I’ll be here.” You kissed him slowly, on a sensual way. Spencer kept his eyes closed for a second after you broke the kiss “come back in one piece, tiger. I want all of you” You gave him your best dirty look as he put up his shirt. You helped him button it up and walked him to the living room, watching him put the shoes on and getting his stuff.  
  
“Are you gonna be ok?” there was true concern on his voice and eyes, you agreed, passing your hands behind his neck as he held your hips, pulling you closer.  
  
“I’m just gonna take a long lonely bubble bath…” you pouted and Spencer giggled “Please keep me updated, or at least let me know you’re alive. I don’t know how Penny deals with it, I swear” he kissed you to make you stop talking and you giggled  
  
“I’ll be fine, we have some unfinished business, my lady, and I do not intend to die before we solve this.” _Good, no one wants you dead here. I want you, all of you, living, in one piece._ You kissed him again as you opened the door.  
  
“Go fight the bad guys, my hero” you bit his lip before he letting him go, watching from the door until he disappeared on the staircase.  
  
  
  
  
  
**SPENCER’S P.O.V.**

 

(Y/N)’s apartment smelled like her, it was inebriating to say the least. Every single detail on there was precious, touched by her hands, I spent sometime watching her books and what a surprise when I saw many of my own collection also lived on her bookshelf. Then there was the music shelf, of course.  
  
“Opera?” Really? I wouldn’t, not on this life, take her as an opera listener.   
  
As she confirmed and even singed one song I lost my internal battle not to kiss her. The song was about finding happiness, she was happiness. She was, for sure, some sort of reincarnation of the old Muses from the tales. She played she was Tiamat, the dragon goddess who eat men, well, it was worthy.  
  
When she stopped me, I feared she didn’t want me as I want her, as I need her, but no, there she was, my muse, my goddess, telling me I was fascinating, telling me how much she wanted me. Can this be real? Or am I just hallucinating? Maybe I am dead and this is what Paradise looks like, and she’s an angel… Or this is Hell and she is the kindliest demon, the fallen angel herself.  
  
Now we were on her room, I was on her bed, her bed. The sheets who hugged her all nights, I secretly longed to be those sheets, to hold her. Indeed I was nervous, wouldn’t anyone? She was looking down at me, her perfect (E/C) eyes reading my mind and I just confessed my feelings, and said it all the best way I could.  
  
Every touch by her made my head spin around on a new sensation. No, I wasn’t inexperienced with women, but her touch was different, kissing her skin was different, she was soft and warm, and teasing. The moment her leg went up my waist and she looked at me with that _ingénue not so ingénue_ way I knew this was real. And I wanted every sense of it. The moment she went on top of me the air fail on my lungs, as the surprise of all her body suddenly touching me as she removed her dress.  
  
“You’re beautiful” she was a vision, her curves were perfect, I wanted to praise her everything. I wanted to kiss all of her, to love all of her, but I couldn’t move as her hands worked on my clothes and my body. She hypnotized me with her touch, with her eyes, with her moves.  
  
 Indeed she was Tiamat, the dragon-snake goddess, her body moved perfectly on top of mine making all pleasure waves hit me and I drag my hands on her body.  
  
But of course I couldn’t have everything.  The BAU needed me, and she seemed upset. Damn, I was more than upset  
  
“Look, I’m sorry to cockblock you, man” Derek said laughing, of course he had no idea of what it meant…  
  
“No it’s okay, I’ll be there” and I hung up.  
  
She said she’d be here too, what does it mean? It make something inside me get warmer, it make me happy, like every time she kisses me. Like when she told me I’m her hero. I’m no hero. _But she said I’m hers_  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?  
> critiques?  
> What are you thinking of Spencer's POVs?  
> is he too silly?  
> I just always thought he'd be this hopeless romantic...
> 
>  
> 
> Next Chapter there will be a special guest appearance *evil laugh*  
> omg i'm turning this into a soap opera
> 
> Stay safe, love you <3


	5. Saturday, I am in love.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A weekend without Spencer, you'd never thought you'd spent Saturday night missing a nerd and talking on the phone, but you do.
> 
> Also, BEWARE THE FLUFFNESS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, hi. I wanted to thank you all so much for the comments and the recognition, seriously, you guys are the reason I write and I love knowing you are appreciating this little crazy story of mine <3
> 
> ON THIS CHAPTER WE MEET YOUR EX, JASON
> 
> I, personally, picture him as Jason Momoa (like, not as him - himself - but you know aesthetics) aka Ronon Dex from Stargate Atlantis, Khal Drogo from Game of Thrones, Aquaman, the love of my life, etc. I met him last year while working at Comic Con and he's just the sweetest guy, making him a 'bad' guy is the most difficult thing omg hahha
> 
> (photo of him here in case you dont know who i'm talking about http://goo.gl/1CgdMM )
> 
>  
> 
> I hope you guys dont hate me (or him haha) for writing the little bit of tension. It's always good to have some ~~emotion~~ isnt it? 
> 
> So, let's go, enough chit-chat

“So how was the night with your boyfriend?” Meg finally asked after we got for our coffee at the Starbucks down the corner on the tattoo shop.  
  
You ended up waking up to a good morning text from Spencer, reminding you had to go to work. He said he was fine but he couldn’t speak much, but he’d talk to you again at night, a smile grew wide on your face when you read every word.  
  
“Oh, we didn’t do anything…” Meg now had a weird look at you, she knew you weren’t the saint type, far from that. “no, no, we both wanted… damn, we were so close…” you cried, making Meg chuckle “ But he had to work…” the thought of having the pretty boy there, on your sheets just a few hours before almost made actual tears come to your eyes, you didn’t know how long you could take it.  
  
“Who _has_ to work in the middle of the night?” Meg was now opening the shop and you walked in.  
  
“FBI Special Agents” you practically sang the words, making Meg chuckle at you “Wait, did you call him my boyfriend? He’s not…”  
  
“Yah, yah, he’s not your boyfriend, right…” you were messing with your friend and organizing the day’s appointment when  a black Jeep park in front of the shop. You knew that car, your heart froze and you felt sick, looking for Meg’s hand “What?” Meg noticed your nervousness.  
  
As she turned to the door, you both could see her younger sister, Melissa, entering the shop – and that was perfectly normal, she worked there as well, with her a 5 year old little girl who smiled and run to you, hugging your legs, and behind her, your ex boyfriend, Jason, entered the shop removing his sunglasses. He was a giant, tanned, brown eyes and longish hair, a look that could kill and a smile that could melt the north pole, plus the sexiest scar you’ve ever seen on his left eyeborw. A 6’5” guy just as big as he was tall, it used to make you feel safe, now you were scared.  
  
“(Y/N)!!!” the young kid still hugging you, asking for you to lift her up, you still in shock. Lola was the daughter of Jason’s ex, she was only a few months old when you two met.  
  
“Hey Lola!! How are you? I missed you! How’s your mom?” you hugged her as hard as you could, tickling her afterwards. You knew Lola’s mom. She was not particularly your friend, but not your foe as well, and since you spent 3 years with Jason, Lola grew close to you.  
  
“She’s fine! Why I never see you anymore?” she pouted and you saw Jason talking to Melissa, but looking at you by the corner of his eye. Then your jaw dropped, Lola was still talking about what she learned on daycare but you never listened, Jason was kissing Melissa. Melissa, one of your best friends’ sister was dating your ex-fiancé.  
  
 No, you weren’t jealous, you were concerned. Jason was the type of guy who’d make you fall in love, madly, head over heels, then he’d trap you, and you’d never see it coming. You’d think it’s okay, he’s just a little jealous. It’s okay “because he loves me”. It took you years to see it was not love. Years, some stiches in the face, some nights awake, afraid, you lost count of how many nights you spent with Gabe, or Meg, you still were afraid of him. Now, you were afraid for Spencer too, that’s why you didn’t want to date anyone. You put Lola down and went to Meg, who was just as shocked as you.  
  
“Did you?” you whispered at her, who shook her head, denying it  
  
“I had no idea, I mean, I knew she was seeing someone, but I didn’t know who it was, (Y/N) I would never think, I’m sorry, I…” she now looked as concerned and even kind of desperate for her baby sister, Melissa was younger than you, of course she was overwhelmed to be with a guy like Jason  
  
“It’s okay, I’m worried about her…” you stopped talking as the man came in your direction.  
  
“Don’t you say hello to old friends anymore, (Y/N)?” his husky voice made you tremble with fear, Meg looked concerned at you, squeezing your hand.  
  
“Hi, Jason, how are you?” you tried your best to look confident, looking firmly into his devilish eyes.  
  
“I am fine, thanks for asking. And you?” he now had lean over the balcony, getting closer to you, with a smirk on with face. You didn’t move and inch.  
  
“I’m great. Working a lot, Diploid Love is getting some nice work, I’m happy” you answer were honest and he seemed to think for a second, eyes going from your eyes to your lips.  
  
“So I heard… I also heard you got yourself a new pet, an FBI boyfriend who couldn’t kill a dead squirrel if he tried…” Jason smirk got wider as your eyes burned with rage and fear at the same time, _how could he know about Spencer?_  
  
“You’re with Melissa, get away from me.” Every word was said slowly and with every bit of strength you had in you.   
“Oh sweet (Y/N), you’d be so much more with me, can’t you see that?” now Jason had his seductive tone back, as you closed your eyes, holding yourself not to punch him in the face. “Enjoy your little fantasy life while you can…” and said so he kissed your cheek, straightening himself up next.  
You saw Melissa and Meg talking as Jason was getting Lola, who waved you goodbye at you. He and Melissa walked out the shop again.  
  
  
“What was that?” Meg asked you, still in shock. You now blinked your eyes a few times, about to storm into tears  
  
“He’s gonna hurt Spencer…” you whisper more to yourself than to her, feeling your friend’s arms around you, calming you down.  
  
“Shh.. he won’t do anything (Y/N), he’s not stupid to mess with feds, and Spencer has a gun he could … _bang!_ “ Meg imitated a gunshot with her hand, making you giggle, really? He was dating her sister! “I wouldn’t mind!” She gave the shoulders, hugging you again “Don’t worry, he’s all blablabla, he’s a coward when it’s about facing real men” you agreed, listening the door opening again, the first client had just entered the shop and you cleared the tears from your face.  
  
The day was calm, yet full of customers on the shop. The last one cancelled on the last minute and you decided to ask Meg for a favor, something hit your mind that morning.  
  
“Meg, can you ink me?” you gave her your best puppy eyes. The girl looked at you with a doubtful look for some seconds and then smiled, going to your desk to see your wished design.  
  
  
It was way passed your usual time when you got home, but you were pretty happy with your new ink. Who’d say, you (Y/N), on a Saturday night, at home?  
Meg had a party in which she’d be DJing, she even asked you to come, but knowing Melissa would be there – probably with Jason – you decided to deny. Gabe was M.I.A., probably partying somewhere too, the rest of the gang was getting drunk on Jason’s bar, another place you wouldn’t be caught dead going if there wasn’t for a concert.  
So there you were, Saturday night, on a hot date with pizza and Netflix. And then your phone rang and your heart goes to your throat and back for what it could read on the screen  
  
_Nerd_  
  
“Hi…” you were still chewing the last piece of pizza when you picked it up.  
“(Y/N)? Can you speak right now?” Spencer seemed concerned he interrupted something. It was Saturday night after all.  
“Sure, sorry. How’s the saving the world going?” you asked, enjoying listening to his voice, eyes closed. You could hear him chuckle.  
“It’s okay, we’ve been able to release the profile and could catch the unsub anytime now it’s a really interesting case, you know, we’ve been working on this for longer than two months and …” he was talking about the details of the case and you could picture his face lighting up from excitement, all his little facial expressions as you smiled to yourself “(y/n)? are you listening to me?” _what?_ You opened your eyes.  
  
“I am babe, it’s just… I am being silly” you looked over your recently done ink as he stayed quiet, waiting for you to continue “I wish you were here…listening to your voice speaking, I could see your face and all your expressions and how excited you get, and I missed you” _okay, now I’m officially the most ridiculous human being to walk on the face of the Earth_. Spencer was still in silence and you started to worry, had you said too much?  
  
“Did you just called me babe?” his voice was low and you confirmed with a humming “(Y/N)…” there was the silence again, the serious tone on his voice and the silence  
  
“What?” you couldn’t take it anymore, you were biting your lip so hard it soon would actually start bleeding  
  
“I think I’m in love with you” his tone was that of one who comes to a logical conclusion, not a confession. It absolutely make the tension between you two break down and you giggled “I’m sorry”  
  
“Don’t ever apologize for being who you are, love.” You said after the sweet, warm feeling on your stomach calmed down “and I think that makes two of us” you could swear you hear him smiling through the phone.  
  
You and Spencer spent hours talking to each other, you told him about your day – except, of course, about the Jason incident – and one music you were working on. You even put him on speaker so you could play the guitar for him. It was way passed the midnight when he fell asleep – still talking to you – and you hung up the call, knowing that maybe with some luck you’d see him on the next day.  
  
  
**SPENCER’S P.O.V.**  
  
  
The work was done as it should be done, analyzing facts, releasing profiles, everything was like it’s always been. Or at least I thought it was.  
  
“Hey, Reid” JJ sit on my side on the desk, as I read the files from the past cases “is everything alright?” I agreed with an easy smile, (Y/N) had just replied my good morning text and sending me a picture of her before work, how I wish I could kiss that face good morning.  
  
“Reid’s got a girlfriend” Morgan passed by us… spying over my shoulder to the text, I looked down at him, but JJ was already smiling that maternal smile of hers.  
  
“Do you now? Tell me!” Derek now was laughing at me, _great_  
  
“(Y/N) is not my girlfriend, we went on a date, twice…she’s Penelope’s friend, and I like her” I said the last part more to myself than to JJ, who was now smiling widely  
  
“Does she like you back?” she looked at me and then at Derek  
  
“Oooh she does, pretty boy here was on her place when we got called” Derek sound almost proud, and JJ was laughing. _What was that? Inquisition?_  
  
“Excuse me” I got up and went to off, to get a coffee and my mind off those two silly children that were my co-workers as I noticed I was really, really red on the face. It was already the afternoon and I could think of was that I really wanted this whole case to be over and be home soon, be with her.  
  
  
Hours later, Hotch decided we would go to the hotel for the night and I could finally talk to (y/n), something was bothering my mind since the plane, something was not right, my body responded to the mere thought of her and the last night on the most… _inconvenient_ ways, ways I surely had to deal with myself while on the shower. Was I going insane from passion? Was this what Hamlet felt for Ophelia?  
  
When I heard her voice on the other side, my stomach turned various ways inside my body. She was probably out. It was Saturday night and she had a busy night life. I couldn’t believe when she told me about her plans on _‘pizza and Netflix’_ since the one she wanted wasn’t there. I almost asked if she meant that was me, but she said she missed me, she called me _babe_ , and she sang  
  
“I think I’m in love with you” that what this is, love. That’s what this feeling is. What the poets wrote down, what the singers sing about, what the world long for, it’s what I feel for her. It’s not a confession, It’s a conclusion. _It’s a fact, I love her. Every atom of my body loves her. Adores her, with pure joy and passion._ My body needs her, like the very chemicals that made up the atoms on our bodies came from the same star, on the beginning of times, and now are reunited. My everything aches to be with her, it’s magnetic, its beyond anything I’ve ever knew I could feel. It’s not admiration and it’s not physical attraction. _She’s everything I’m not and I love her for that._  
  
When she confirmed, saying that the feeling is mutual – could she ever feel the amount of tenderness and need I feel for her for a simple minded being like me? She, my muse? I felt like all my life make sense, every happy part, every sad part. Every broken heart and bully, every time I just didn’t understand. The universe had her for me, I know that now, and she says I shouldn’t apologize for being me, that she loved it. How kind of her would be to love me? She kept saying that I was too much and a genius and all that everyone ever said and just didn’t matter, except when she said it. When she said it, I listened, it made sense. _Life made sense with her._ And she was the last thing I remember before I fell into a deep sleep, to meet her again, on my dreams.  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it for today!  
> Wow, aren't we working fast?  
> I'm so excited with this! I hope to be able to post again soon
> 
> Stay safe, my darlings, love ya <3


	6. Penguins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A gloomy Sunday becomes the best thing ever after a nerd surprises you coming home sooner.
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Also lots of fluff as always, and there's explicit adult content AKA Smut on this chapter. It's sinalized, in case someone doesn't feel ok reading it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey, my lovelies, I'm back. Sorry it took this long. Writer (yours truly) suffers from Borderline Disorder (a mental condition kinda similar to Bipolar) and was not feeling really well these days, so yeah... but you guys help me so much <3 I'm feeling really better now, thanks!
> 
> So, this chapter we finally have ~~~LE SMUT~~~ in case you don't wanna read it on don't feel comfortable reading explicit content (really it's long and explicit, I'm an adult guys) just jump the text in between the lines:
> 
> ____________________
> 
> LE SMUT CONTENT  
> ___________________
> 
> it will not in any ways interfere on the story whatsoever, it's only for us needy fangirls here.
> 
> Also, the SPENCER POV part there's mentions of the smut, but nothing explicit so I guess it's ok?  
> THERE'S ONE PART EXCLUSIVELY ON HIS POV TOO, READ IT, ITS MADLY CUTE 
> 
> That's it. Save your brother and my unicorn. Let's go.

It was a gloomy Sunday, rainy and cold meaning your favorite Sunday pastime was off: going to the local park with a coffee and just watch the people. It had something very relaxing about listening to music and watching strangers, your mind would always wander around, making stories about their lives and super hidden secrets. 

 

This particular Sunday you were awaken by Gabe, who just couldn't stay home because _"there's an awfully loud gay orgy going on my roommate's room and I can't even"_

 

"You're jealous you weren't invited" you yawned, opening the door with eyes barely open, going to the bathroom next. You were on pajamas: an old over sized stretched Bon Jovi tour T-shirt and panties. It was Gabe, you wouldn't change.

 

He was still way too high on energy drinks and drugs from the night to let you get any more sleep so you washed your face, brushed your teeth and went to make some coffee, listening to him telling you all about his night out.

 

When you finally had your coffee and felt at least the minimum awake for human interaction, you told him about the night with Spencer, the Jason incident and everything. Now both of you were drinking coffee and chatting with reruns of old TV shows on the background.

 

"...but wait, haven't you dated Melissa?" you denied with a head shake

 

"Nop, I dated a Melissa in high school, when we met, remember? The girl from the softball team?" Gabe agreed taking a sip of his coffee "I had sex with Meg once, though" now Gabe's eyes were wide

 

"Really? You never told me this, guuurrrll hooow?? I thought she was straight as a ruler" you smirked putting my coffee mug down and watching his face.

 

"Everyone thinks they are straight until they are not, darling" you winked at Gabe, using his own catchphrase "oh you know, too much tequila, she was single, I was taking some time away from Jason, she has that amazing smile..."

 

"And great legs..." Gabe remarked

 

"Awesome boobs" you had to agree, laughing at least "but it all worked well in the end and things didn’t get awkward, thank goodness. I love her way too much for this" 

 

"Does FBI boy knows you like girls too?" He asked casually and I agree

 

"We met through Penny, I dated Penny, he knows this. We're fine..." you shrugged, Spencer never seemed to bother about it

 

"Do you know of he happens to like boys too?" Now you lifted your eyes to Gabe, narrowing them, _what was he implying?_

 

"Off limits, Gabriel" you stated.

 

"C'mon, you didn't mind with Jason!" Gabe whined, holding a laugh "share them cuties"

 

"That was other completely different situation, Jason is bisexual and poly and we all know that, he fucks every living thing that walks pass by him. Spencer is completely different. Just, don't. If we don't work out and he's single you make your move, otherwise please, Gabe..." Your friend rolled his eyes to you.

 

"Okaaay now you gonna become one of those heterosexual monogamous boring people" as a matter of fact yes, that's kind of what you wanted with Spencer, a boring, almost normal, apple pie life. The thought of it made you smile to yourself.    
  
"Oh my God, you are in love with him, for real, aren't you?" you had to agree, only to get your hair messed by your friend and being teased by him for hours, and he swear he wouldn’t try anything with Spencer as long as you’ve been together.  
  
  
The afternoon passed fast, Gabriel helped you with the song you were working on, you still took the opportunity to rehearsal some new songs with him the best you could.  
  
It was already dark outside when someone knocked on your door, your blood went cold – it’s something that always happened since Jason, you were always afraid – and walked to the door, looking through the door viewer. Nothing, it was black. Someone was covering it. You felt fear pumping through your veins as the knocked came again.  
  
“What’s wrong?” Gabe asked going from the couch to next to you, you made a sign for him to stay quiet.  
  
“Who is it?” you asked, your best confident voice.  
  
“We received a complain about too much noise on this apartment, ma’am, Can you please open the door?” You didn’t recognize the voice, but it wasn’t strange either. _Too much noise? Two acoustic guitars? On a Sunday afternoon?_

You signed for Gabe to be full attention as you unlocked the door, carefully. No one at first, _really a prank?_  You put your head outside and looked just beside your door to see a huge childlike smile on a 6 feet man. Your heart never pumped faster.  
  
“it’s the FBI, ma’am” he joked, as you threw yourself on his arms, completely forgetting you were not dressing for outsides at all “I missed you” he whispered in your ear making you shiver.  
  
“So yeah (Y/N)… I guess I gonna get going” Gabe took you off your dream-like state on Spencer’s arms, still outside your apartment, he went inside for a second to get his stuff and out again. “Nice to see you again man… (Y/N), talk to you later, have fun you two penguins” Gabe threw kisses at you from the staircase making you giggle.  
  
“Penguins?” Spencer looked confused, still arms around you. You just laughed and pulled him by the hand into your apartment, closing the door behind you and holding him close.  
  
“When did you came back?” you asked, between short kisses on his face and lips, making the Doctor giggle.  
  
“Ahm… I don’t know, an hour ago?” you stopped your actions, looking into his eyes with a smile playing on your lips  
  
“You just came back… and came here to see me?” he agreed, simply, with a head nod  
  
“It was the logical thing to do, I missed you” you almost didn’t let him finish his words, taking his lips with yours, your tongue running through his bottom lips as you pulled him even closer.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
_____________________________________________________________________________________  
  
  
  
As you deepened the kiss, your hands worked fast on starting to unbutton his shirt. You felt Spencer chucking under the kiss as he broken it to breath  
  
“What…?” you were slowly pushing him to your bedroom, _damn, you needed him_  
  
“Shh…. “ you kissed him again while pushing him into your bed “all I wanna hear now is your beautiful moans and groans, Dr. Reid” he took off his shirt while you were working on his belt and pants, your mouth was now on his jawline and neck, kissing, licking, biting.  
You knew it would be messy, but at this point you just didn’t care anymore. You were straddling Spencer, who was sitting on your bed, he was holding you by your hips, thrusting against you each time you kissed him harder and making sounds that were driving you absolutely crazy.  
  
As you stood on your knees to give him space to take his pants off, Spencer held you firmly by your butt, making your hips get closer to his face, you had to shut your eyes and breath when you felt his tongue on the skin around your panties, on your thighs and hipbones. If he wasn’t holding you you’d sure fall down, your knees weren’t trustworthy anymore. Your hands went to his hair and you cried out as his mouth reached your still dressed sex. You looked down at him only to see his usually warm brown eyes filled with lust and a dark desire, your head was totally spinning around now.  
  
Spencer reached your waist and firmly, but still carefully, dropped you on your back on the bed, crawling over you now only with his underwear, he helped you take off your T-shirt, only to be gladly surprised you had no bra on and your nipples were already hard from the previous stimulation. His lips caressed your nipples carefully, taking one on his mouth than the other, leaving small bites only to hear you moan softly and move under him, he was soft, caring. His hands exploring your body and still giving attention to your breasts as he kissed his way back to your mouth only to look into your eyes and smirk.  
  
“Let’s see who moans and groans now” you knew what was coming, _god_ , you were soaking wet for him, it was ridiculous to be THIS hot and bothered for someone.  
  
He took of your underwear, touching the inner side of your thighs as he opened your legs for him, giving them slow, mouth opened kisses. You literally felt like a goddess being praised at that moment, all on his touch was about giving you pleasure.  As his hands held your hips, you instinctively knew what was next and breath deeply, _finally._ Spencer’s tongue reached your wet core on a single, slow lick, making you moan louder than you even expected. The vibrations of him chucking against your sensitive skin only increased the need for him. _Okay, he can win this game, he can win everything._ Again his tongue start working on your core, sucking your lips, tasting every bit of you until he reached your clit, on that moment you were almost screaming for him to fuck you already. His lips were soft, sucking your sensitive bundle of nerves while his tongue made circular motions on it.  
  
You were a trembling mess, holding his hair, moving his hips – which he has holding down = moaning, with your head spinning around by all the sensations on your body. Spencer had his tongue inside you now, licking all your juices again like that’s all he needed to live, like it was the nectar from the gods. The vision from it alone would make you cum, until you saw him looking mischievously at you. He had two fingers pressed against your entrance, teasing you, as you moved your hips, in need for your release, to be fucked by him, he’d only make circles around it, his mouth again on your clit.  
  
“Fuck, Spencer. Just fuck me, please” you cried out, this was too much for you.  As you finished your words you felt his mouth sucking and licking you harder, and both of his long fingers penetrating you at the same time, making your back arch in pleasure and you thrust your hips to get more friction.  Spencer’s fingers went just on the right spot, making it hard for you not to cum all at once, but you didn’t wanted this to stop, you didn’t even knew your name anymore from all the pleasure he was giving you.  
  
“You’re so delicious (Y/N), I want you to cum for me, babe” Spencer breathed out fastening his movements inside you and kissing your inner thighs, running his tongue through your wet sex.  That was when you exploded in pleasure, screaming his name, moving your hips against his face as his face as he licked you and held you down.  
  
It took you a few moments to be able to open your eyes again, your breath still uneasy. Spencer was already on you side, kissing your collarbones and neck.  
  
“You’re beautiful” he said whispering, looking into your eyes, taking some pieces of hair out of your forehead. You lift yourself up to kiss him, feeling your taste on his lips, _this is far from over_.  
  
You could feel his erection through his underwear and took it off while kissing his torso and running your mouth through his body. You were now on top of him and the only moment your mouth left his body was the moment you reached your bedside table to reach a condom.  
Spencer was now shaking a little, where was that dominant man from a few minutes ago? You stroke his member and lick his pre-cum, letting it stay on your mouth as you massaged his balls and enjoyed the view of a pleasure filled Dr. Spencer Reid, pressing the right spots with your tongue to feel his thrusting against you and suddenly stopping. Spencer looked at you with his lost puppy eyes and _gosh_ _how can he be so hot and so cute all at once?_  
  
When he was ready you straddled him again, letting him member goes inside you with a moan from both of you,  Spencer was a big guy and it took you some time to adjust your inner walls to his size, specially since you haven’t had sex with a guy in some time. You started rocking your hips slowly but steady, until both bodies got used to the rhythm and you were bouncing on him, his hands on your sides on your breasts, nails on your back. The familiar knot was back into your lower stomach from the friction of the position and you again were moaning and calling his name, pretty much like him was moaning and calling yours. You changed position and now Spencer was over you, your legs on his waist and he reaching deep inside you, eyes locked into yours, both full with lust and raw passion.  
  
“Harder” you breathed, biting his shoulder when he held your leg up, reaching the right spot.  
  
"Fuck (Y/N), you feel so good" Spencer's head was on the crook of your neck as you dig your nails on the skin of his back and he hit your sweet spot over and over again, going harder as you asked. _This surely gonna leave some bruises._

 

"Spenc..." whatever you were about to say was cut by yours second orgasm, even more powerful than the first one, you were literally screaming as your inner walls clenched around your lover's member, he groaned loudly at the sight of you losing control under him again and his thrust soon became erratic, you knew he was close too. As you felt him losing control, you kept both of your legs wrapped around his waist, locking him deep inside you and moved your hips alongside with his, making his orgasm last the longest it possibly could. 

 

 

________________________________________________________________________________________

 

 

When finally his body collapsed over you, shaking, you kissed his forehead softly, as he kissed your cheek, both breathing erratically and heartbeats still coming back to a normal rage.

Your fingers were drawing circles on his back and he was slow caressing the amount of skin he could touch with his lips and fingertips. The silence was comfortable, you didn't need words with Spencer, you could just feel everything.

 

"I want this..." he whispered at last, a husky voice, looking into your eyes "You and me, us. I want this, for real. I want you" your eyes widened with surprise at the same time your heart felt like it would explode across your chest and you kissed him, holding his face and pulling him closer, up into the bed. "So...?" He looked at you again, there was a smile playing on your face and uncertainty on his, fear even.

 

"I say, Doctor Reid, you, me, us, pathetic couple stuff, walking on the park, coffee shops, grocery shopping, fights at midnight for the last piece of cake, being ridiculously cheesy and getting a pet. I want it all, all on the package, all with you." you were now laughing at his shocked happy expression, like a child on Christmas and you just had to kiss him all over his face "I love you" the words slipped your lips and both of you kept silent, now you were the one afraid. _Me and my damn big mouth._ “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare you I… I am too intense sometimes, I didn’t…”  
  
“I love you too” his words were said simply and on a low voice tone. Spencer always had this thing, he made everything seem simple and rational, in a good way, the way. You wrapped your arms around him again, feeling comfortable, but a sweaty sticky tired mess.  
“Hey, wanna hit a bath with me?” you asked smirking at him, who looked doubtfully at you.  
  
“I guess I do?” He chuckled as you stood up and pulled him with you to the bathroom, kissing him.  
  
“You do” you chuckled under the kiss.  
  
  
  
  
**SPENCER’S POV**

  
Our case has been solved quickly after the profile was released, and on Sunday we were already going home. I admit I was more than happy with the news, apart from being teased because of it the whole way by Derek and JJ, but I could finally see (Y/N) again. I thought about calling her first, but my phone was dead so I took it a shot and went straight to her house, hoping she’d be home. I mean, she was home on a Saturday night, wasn’t she?  
  
The moment I saw her face and felt her arms around me once again was like the moment you take the fresh breath of air after being on a closed room for too long, you never realize how much you need it to live, how much you miss it. I could feel the blood on my veins, the heart on my chest. I felt alive.  
I honestly wanted to talk to her, admire her, just be with her, I’d never expect her taking me to her bedroom in such a rapid motion…not that I, as a man who has his desires and she being a gorgeous woman, am complaining about this. I wanted her to know how much I adore her, how much I need her, I praise her very existence.  
  
Kissing her, feeling her on my skin, tasting her, everything about that moment was overwhelming, seemed like a delirium, a fantasy. Her wet kisses on my body, my mouth on her body, her moans of my name … the most beautiful sound I’ve ever listen. It was surely what Heaven was like, or Hell, I didn’t care. And she got even more beautiful blushed and sweated once she reached her pleasure, she was a true vision, a goddess on her true form.  
The things she made me feel were indescribable, girls have done things with me before, plenty of things… I grew up in Vegas, for Sake! But (Y/N)… she was magic, the way her body moved… it was so beautiful and perfect I am sure she could bring any man to her any desires. She was the Queen on Sheba, Lilith herself…I was more and more sure she couldn’t be human, not on all her perfection. Not by the way she bit my shoulder when I managed to bring her to her second orgasm and her nails dig deep into my back, not the way she looked at me while I myself rode my highs of pleasure deep inside her. _What was she doing to me? I had no idea. And I loved her._  
  
Yes, **love**. Those were the exchanged words after our moments of passion, when our bodies collapsed to its human fragility. They were whispered, like secrets, they were not for the word to hear. They were ours and ours alone. And she loved me. She let the words slip her lips as they were some secret only the bravest could listen, the secret song. And I did listen to it. It didn’t matter because I loved her too, I lived for her and as I said these words I saw the light into her eyes grew wider. What was that? Did she ever doubted my devotion? Wasn’t I good enough for my muse showing how much I loved and adored her? I, who would spend my very last breath on reassuring how much I loved her?  
She filled my face again with kisses, I wouldn’t dream of living without her kisses anymore. Those sweet, tender caresses of her blessed lips on my face. I couldn’t believe she indeed was mine.  
  
  
  
  
We were both on the bathtub, her back was on my chest when I could notice something that wasn’t there before, [a new tattoo on her right wris](http://41.media.tumblr.com/b10f4ab3766dbc02ffd96c5d8e4f8a97/tumblr_n7ks5hUPOp1qdadhro2_500.jpg)t - against her full tattooed left arm.  
_  
_ “That’s new” I touched the arm, softly, making her move it under the water “I never knew you liked Geometry…” I looked better at the design, it was a beautiful dark blue Nautilus Shell, on an aquarelle style. She chuckled a little.  
  
“I don’t, I was awful at it in school, I can barely calculate change…” now I got genuinely confused, she knew what the design stand for right? “I know It’s The Perfect Ratio, Sacred Geometry, it’s the basic build of the universe and explains everything, it’s on everything… from the galaxies to our DNA… it’s just so beautiful…” She stopped, looking at the design and took a deep breath before speaking again “and it’s just like you…it reminds me of you, When we first met, the very first impression I had of you was that you were some sort of human version of the Perfect Ratio, you could explain everything… and was poetically beautiful. And you were wearing dark blue” she whispered the last part, I was still under the shock of the information. Me? Did she mark her perfect skin forever because of a being like me? “You’re my Perfect Ratio, everything makes sense” she shrugged and I had to hug her tighter, noticing she was crying a little. How could I deserve someone so perfect? Someone with such a soul bigger than herself? I kissed her neck, holding her the closest I could.  
  
_“I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you….”_  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! How did you guys like it?
> 
> Did you get the tattoo reference? 
> 
> See you guys soon! 
> 
> Let's chat down here! 
> 
> Stay safe, love ya! <3


	7. Safety

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> honesty, this chapter just goes around, it's not about the reader/Reid relationship (mainly), but there's an emotional end. I'm sorry, I just needed things to happen to get where I'm going
> 
> TW: There's some violence description, and anxiety. I'm sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my sweet things! 
> 
> So yeah, sorry about taking this long to write this crap (I honestly hated how this chapter ended out but meh), but the next one is already halfway done and it's much, much better, I swear. 
> 
> Please, be patient, my last final is on this Tuesday so now i'm just trying not to go insane. I promise i'll be a good writer and love you all and do requests (I do them BTW, just leave comments!)
> 
> by the way, im working on a playlist for this fiction so you can all enjoy my crappy music taste based on Supernatural Soundtrack and indie bands, yay!  
> (also 90's!)
> 
> So, enough talking, get onto the blue phone booth
> 
> trust me I'm the Doctor  
> (not rlly but yeah)

You slowly woke up to the strong smell of coffee, looking for the body next to yours with your hands. Nothing. A loud moan of complain coming from you made your guest on the kitchen next to the room laugh, coming back to you.

 

"Good morning, love" he smiled, kissing you gently.

 

"Why did you get up?" You whined, pulling him to the bed again, over you. "Come here and cuddle with me"

 

"Babe, It's passed 8 am, I have to be at work by 9, it’s Monday" you finally opened up your eyes to see a already dressed Spencer Reid.  
  
“Not fair” you pouted, only to be kissed by him again, a strong taste of coffee on his lips. Spencer always tasted like coffee, you never thought you could love it more.  
  
“I made you breakfast, c’mon” Spencer helped you up, still against your will, you were not a morning person at all and you only had to be at work by 10. Spencer went back to the kitchen as you went to your normal morning bathroom routine.  
  
  
As you entered the kitchen Spencer had his back at you, facing the small sink, you hugged him from behind leaving small kisses on his shoulder  
blades.  
  
“Do you really have to go?” you knew he had to, you just didn’t want to say bye yet.  
  
“I do” he chuckled at your whines, “I can see you tonight tough” he said turning around to hug you.  
  
“Oh, we have rehearsal tonight at Mark’s. We have a gig on Thursday, every second Thursday of the month we play on this party at the bar I told you about...Wait, you made pancakes?” you were now smiling at the breakfast goodies on the table and he agreed, leading you to sit down and sitting by your side.  
  
“Who’s Mark?” Spencer narrowed his eyebrows at you while you poured yourself and him some coffee  
  
“My band’s bass player, Meg’s on again off again boyfriend. Now they’re on their on again phase so she’s coming around, so I’m going with her to his place after work. My guitar is there too” You took a sip of your coffee while Spencer looked at you.  
  
  
“Can I come? I love to see you playing”  
  
“Nop” you smiled at his frown “I’m working on new songs, it’s a surprise” you kissed Spencer frown “and Mark is friends with Jason, so I don’t know if he’ll be there…” you bit your lip again, reminding you didn’t tell Spencer about you meeting your ex yet.  
  
“Another reason for me to come with you, I don’t like the way you speak about this Jason guy” he said, conclusive and you had to hold a smile back, _was he jealous?_

  
“Hey, I’m a grown up girl, Dr. Reid, I can take care of myself” you smirked at him, whose eyes softened at you.  
  
“I know, but I want to take care of you too” his eyes met yours and you felt all of you melting inside those brown eyes.  
  
“And that’s why I love you” you whispered softly at him, who leaned over almost touching your lips before replying the same phrase and kissing you.  
  
You had breakfast with Spencer listening to him talk about the case they had finished by the weekend until he was already late and Penelope was calling him.  
  
“Go save the world from the bad guys, my super hero” you said kissing him goodbye “and come back running to me…” he smiled at the last part, holding you closer for a second.  
  
“I wouldn’t dream of going anywhere else” his eyes on yours on that moment made you weak on your knees again, _how did he do that?_ You watched Spencer’s car disappear down the street from your window before going back to get changed for your day.  
  
  
**SPENCER'S POV**

  


I woke up when it was still dark outside, only to remember the events of last night by the sweet smell of my lover's hair. I held her closer, her back on my chest and kissed her shoulder lightly, I didn't mean to wake her up, she was sleeping in such a peaceful way it make wonder if she was dreaming. A few moments later (Y/N) moved under my embrace, turning her face to me, eyes still closed and a small smile on her lips. 

 

"Sleep, love" she whispered, barely moving her lips, but caressing my back with her fingertips. I closed back my eyes to feel her lips on mine for a second "I love you, Spencer" 

 

"I love you, (Y/N)" and closed my eyes again, falling into a light sleep, still conscious of her presence all around me.

 

When I woke up again there was already time for me to get up and get ready. (Y/N) was still asleep by my side, so I decided to make us breakfast. 

 

I am not a chef, nor I am good at cooking, but at least I made us pretty decent pancakes and (Y/N) seemed pretty impressed, like it was a big thing. The way she looked at me and called me a hero, saying that she loved me, has life ever been this happy before? Has my life ever been complete? 

 

The moment I left her, I missed her. I caught myself singing her songs on my way to the BAU, including my terrible version of Bed of Roses, which was the song she was singing this morning. 

 

 

"Good Morning" I smiled at my co-workers as their greetings reached me. It was a beautiful Monday, why was everyone so bummed?

 

"Hey hey, did someone got lucky with The Sweet Mistress of the Dark last night?" Derek turned at me, I was trying not to blush. Did I got a hickey? Cuz she got plenty...

 

"What?" Did pretending not to listen ever works here? No? Ok. I was looking down my reflection on the turned off computer screen in hope to check for marks on my neck.

 

"Relax man, you're fine..." Derek laughed at me, understanding what I was doing "but you're wearing the same you were yesterday, you're smelling like those bathbombs girls just love that's all sweets and flowers and stuff and you were just humming to Bed of Roses that's probably the cheesiest of the cheesy" he stopped at my speechlessness " okay... maybe Always it's worst but you don't even like Bon Jovi...and after all, my dear pretty boy, your stupid happy face says all" 

 

"Says what?" Garcia now entered the room with papers "Morning boys"

 

"Pretty Boy here just got himself a happy night with your friend..." Derek said again and I realized I had blushed.

 

"So that's... OH MY YOU GUYS ARE SERIOUS NOW?" what why? "(Y/N) removed the 'single' from her social media but didn’t say anything" _Did she?_ "But since you are a medieval man who refuses to use any time of social media I'm guessing that's why... “  
  
“What’s the party about?” JJ entered the room with coffee for us, Thank you, JJ.  
  
“Reid got a girlfriend” Garcia said and I choked at the word, I haven’t thought about it or said it out loud like that. Girlfriend. She was so much more than that to me, it’ seems so… little and mundane for everything she was.  
  
“Awww… is that girl you told me about? JJ was the only one who didn’t tease me or made any sassy remarks, just seemed… happy. I silently agreed, getting even redder. “We’re planning some get together thing on my house by the weekend, bring her! I’m dying to meet the lucky lady who got the mighty Doctor Spencer Reid.” Hotch got into the room and finally they forgot about me for a minute.  
  
  
  
On the lunch break I looked for Garcia, something about (Y/N) was bothering me, well, not particularly about her, but yeah.  
  
“Penelope, can I talk to you?” she was having her usual lunch at her room and waved for me to come in.  
  
“Sure, what can I do for you?” she turned her spinning chair at me, and I sit uneasy in front of her, in silence. “okay, this is about (y/n)… what is it?” why everyone smiles at me when it’s about her?  
  
“Penelope, by any chances… do you know about her past relationships?” Garcia’s eyebrow rose on an confused expression “more specifically one with this guy named Jason…” her expression now showed some shock and even fear, okay, _who was this guy?_  
  
“Oh boy, you don’t wanna go there…” I kept silence, waiting for her to speak, she got the clue and took a deep breath before start “Jason is a psychopath…like, I’m sure he’s like those guys we go after, he just never did anything to get caught. The guy is crazy… He and (Y/N) officially dated for like…1 year and something, but the overall was much, much more. It was this crazy, possessive relationship on his side, but he’s polyamorous and bisexual and just a plain asshole who can’t respect another human being so he would just go around fucking everybody. (Y/N) was okay with an open relationship, but it was only open to him. The first person she got interested was me, we went on a few dates before he found out what was going on, the guy snapped… just… hell broke down, the fights started, really big bad physical fights, and he’s this big guy, bigger than Derek. There was one… (Y/N) got like 20 stiches on her face from the fist fight and an emergency surgery from being stabbed on the stomach… you know that tattoo on her stomach, going on her right ribs?” I agreed biting hard on my lip, imagining the scene “That was to cover the scar…He got 140 stiches all over his head and face and a reputation of ‘poor little fella with a crazy girl’ because she hit him with a bottle on the face. I mean, the guy got one scar and he still look hot you know? He’s a name on the music scene around here and Diploid Love and (Y/N) still have to live around him or his bars or stuff, just because, and he makes her life a living hell… I don’t even know how he didn’t came from the pits of darkness to annoy you guys yet” I was still trying to cope with all the information she just said.  
  
“And the rest of her band, do you know them?” since I’m asking…  
  
“Oh, Mark and Nick, they are awesome people.” Mark and Nick, okay. “Mark is dating Meg again isn’t he?” I agreed with my head, (Y/N) said so, I don’t even know. Penelope seemed to know everyone. “I miss Nick, though, Nick is the other guitar player. A lovely 5 feet girl with pink hair and a look like an angel but god, can she scream…” _wait Nick is a girl?_ I chuckled at Garcia musing over the said girl, someone apparently has a girl crush.  
  
I told her everything about me and (Y/N) and how we really got serious, there was no point on hiding it from Garcia, she was friends with BOTH of us. She’d know sooner or later. Still, during the rest of the day, images of (Y/N)’s body scars and what Garcia told me never left my mind, how could someone be treated in such a way and still let a stranger in? The feeling that hit me only thinking about how fragile and precious the trust she built around me was overwhelming; I just wanted to hold her, to protect her. Now I could understand the whole “keep distance” look, but I knew she wouldn’t want me to treat her like someone who couldn’t take care of herself. Before I knew, tears filled my eyes.  
  
  
**(END OF SPENCER’S P.O.V.)**  
  
  
“Hey Meg, you’re taking me to Mark’s right?” you asked after the last customer left the shop.  
  
“Sure thing, doll, I ain’t leaving you nowhere near my man, lady. You are now a committed ma’am”  she winked after putting up a serious face.  
  
“Said the one who’s what…5 years fooling around with Marky boy?” she got her purse and we walked to the door, laughing.  
  
“4 and a half” Meg corrected me and I leave out an _oh_ “c’mon we gotta buy beer and pizza for those useless brainless musicians…” _the love she feel for Mark is truly, truly inspiring you see._  
  
  
“QUEEN OF MY WORLD, and my sweet blackbird” the blond man shouted as Meg opened the door, you were holding 3 large pizzas and a beer pack, Meg was holding the other two beers.  
  
Nick run over to help you with the pizza boxes while Mark kissed Meg hello, they were one of the cutest couples you knew and you were truly happy for your friends but c’mon, _a little help here?_  
  
“Hiiiii” Gabe came from into the house, his hair wet and only in shorts. Good, everyone’s here. We can work. As soon as Meg and Mark stop sucking each other’s face out, sure.  
  
“(Y/N) are those hickeys?” Nick laughed at you, looking over your neck and collarbones.  
  
“Someone got a boyyyfrieeeend~~~”  Meg teased… _now you stop kissing her, Mark?_  
  
“OH IS IT THE NERD?” Nick was like an overreacting teen, jumping around “WHEN ARE WE GONNA MEET THEM, UH? I WANNA MEET HIM!!!!” she was jumping around you, Nick was even shorter than you, which made the scene incredibly cuter.  
  
“You all gonna meet him on Thursday…” you laughed at the girl you left out an _“yay”_  
  
“I already know him, he’s lovely…and he’s totally head over heels for her, you should see.” Meg said on Spencer’s defense, _thanks Meg._

  
“I know him too, nice guy, but meh” Gabe said. _NICE GUY GABE? YOU WANTED TO FUCK HIM YESTERDAY!!!_ Your jaw almost dropped at him, what was going on?  
  
Then you saw it: Jason coming from inside the house too, his from where Gabe came, only with a towel around his waist and a sarcastic smirk on his face. He stopped by Gabe’s side and lightly touched his hips.  
_Wait, did they just…?_  
  
“Okay let’s work…” you said trying to ignore the man in the room and going for your guitar on the other side of the living room.  
  
More or less, the rest of the band quickly follow your lead, Nick was by your side as you passed to her the new song you were working on, she helping you with some details. Soon you got lost into the music, almost forgetting the presence of the last person on Earth you wanted to see on the room, all flirty with one of your friends.  
  
“What is going on there with Gabe and Jason?” Meg asked you, during a break a few hours later, while you went to the kitchen to get some water. It was not wise at all to be drunk tonight.  
  
“Go figure… Does Melissa knows he’s here?” you shrugged your shoulders, leaning your back on the cupboard. She took a sip of her own beer.  
“If she doesn’t… I’m not the one telling her. She knows everything you went through, she wanted it anyway. I warned her Jason is an asshole” Meg chuckled and you did too, little you know there was someone listening to your little conversation.  
  
“So I am an asshole…” the deep, husky voice on Meg’s back made her jump and my nerves tense.  
  
“What do you want Jason?” it was your standard question, you wanted to get rid of him the fast you possibly could.  
  
“A beer… Hush, kitten, I won’t bite you” he stopped by your side, chuckling next to your ear. You were frozen on your spot.  
  
Jason got his beer and stood in front of you, arms crossed, looking straight into your eyes with a smirk never leaving his face. Mark was calling Meg from the living room and she looked worried at me.  
  
“It’s ok Meg, I’m coming in a second” you said, knowing the girl was still there because she was worried about you. You also knew Jason would leave you alone until he got whatever he wanted, and you wanted to know what it was.  
  
“(Y/N), I’m not sure…” Meg was trying to reason with you, of course she was right, but you just wanted this all finished.  
  
“You heard her, unicorn. Go on, I won’t hurt kitten here” Jason now looked at Meg who still was afraid for you. You nod her head and smiled softly at her, who finally gave up, going back to the living room. The silence fell on the room again until you spoke up.  
  
  
“What’s your game?” you pulled off your best angry face at the man in front of you, who pouted and chuckled.  
  
“You really think I am that super bad guy, don’t you?” he walked a few steps closer to me, caging me between his big arms without breaking eye contact.  
  
“I know who you are” you hissed getting as away as you could from his face.  
  
“Who is this guy?” Jason’s voice was on your earlobe “He got you pretty uh? What did he do? Is he that good, better than me?” Jason’s hands were on your waist now and his lips were tracing your earlobe, without touching it. “I miss you, kitten” he kissed your neck once, tasting the waters and looked at your face. You were still frozen in place. Furious, afraid.  
  
“He’s much more of a man you’ll ever be, and yes he got me pretty. You should see how he make me scream all night long, Jason. You don’t wanna know the details, cuz you never saw me screaming that much and that much crazy about you… and he loves me, he loves all of me. He wants all of me. You’ll never know what that love is, Jason, cuz you can’t love. You never learnt how to love, you just go around fucking everything desperate to feel something… I’m sorry for you, Jay, I really am, but get the hell away from me and my boyfriend and Hell, don’t even think about hurting my friends, this is my last warning…” as the words escaped your mouth, you walked over him, threatening. His eyes were confused for a second, letting his iron mask of eternal sarcasm fall for a bit, but fixing it fast enough.  
  
“Is this your last word, kitten?” he looked down at you, who had the fists closed to hit him at any minute now.  
  
“Get away from me” you hissed again, your knuckles going white from strength and walking away.  
  
“You’re gonna regret it, bitch” you heard him spit at you as you left the kitchen.  
  
  
  
  
“(Y/N) where are you going?” Mark asked as you stormed by them getting your guitar and the rest of your stuff and walking to the door.  
  
“I’m sorry, I got a really bad migraine; I’m going home… But it was awesome today guys, thank you!” You opened the door and stormed out, before anyone could ask you anything else, tears of rage and fear starting to form into your eyes.  
  
  
  
  
You got into a taxi and went to the only place you could imagine find some peace right now, knocking multiple times on the door before seeing a pair of sleepy eyes looking worried at you, who was now ugly crying.  
  
“Can I sleep here?” Spencer opened his arms and you hugged him, leaving your guitar on the floor. He kissed the top of your head caressing your hair while you sobbed against his chest  
  
“What happened?” he whispered, closing the door with one hand pulling you to the couch next, you didn’t want to talk about it.  
  
“I just want to be here with you, Spence, you make me feel good. I just want to forget everything else” he agreed, holding you against him again. You kissed Spencer bare chest before kissing his lips. His hands held your back softly and you couldn’t stop crying. You were feeling dirty, horrid, even though Jason barely touched you.  
  
“Where’s the bathroom?” you stood up, looking around and walked into the house, Spencer informed that he had one just outside his bedroom, down the hall.  
You were in the middle of a panic attack and making no sense at all, you knew that. As soon as you found the desired room, you closed the door behind you, but didn’t lock it. Looking at your reflection all memories hit your mind at once, and what just happened with what could happen with you and Spencer snapped you. Your anger hit you in a way your fist punched the mirror in front of you multiple times, breaking it. Due to the noise, Spencer came fast, opening the door to find you looking to the ground whispering _“fuck”_ to yourself and holding your injured and bloody hand. You were scratching your neck with your other hand, on the spot Jason had touched you, you were doing this since the taxi and now you were bleeding there too.  
  
“(Y/N), babe, what’s going on?” Spencer tried to hold you, seeing you were shaking and still panicking, not looking at him. You turned your back at your boyfriend once again to hit the shower on the hottest water possible, sitting under it until you could breath again, rocking your body and crying. You knew on the back of your mind you had to talk to Spencer, you knew he was there, but you couldn’t control yourself. Before you new it, he was sitting by your side on the bathroom floor, holding your bleeding hands into his and caressing your arm lightly. You finally looked into his eyes  
  
“Thank you” you whispered, still crying. You had no idea how to show him how thankful you were for him, for his life, for him letting you in, a mess like you. And he smiled, that sweet child like smile with water all over his face.  
  
“You’re safe here” he whispered back at you, and you lean over to kiss him lightly. You indeed were safe there, _in him._  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND THAT'S IT
> 
> crappy yah?  
> yeah, I know. I'll get better don't give up on me pls. 
> 
> now i'm going to bed because it's late and i'm going to write on my phone (i always do that)
> 
> by the way, any of you lovelies unicorns use twitter? Cuz I do and if you feel like personally talking to me feel free to do so at @qoyzhavvorsi
> 
> See you soon!
> 
> Stay safe and remember I love you!
> 
> (also enjoy the Reid gif I'll be adding to every chapter)


	8. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What is like to be taken care of by Dr. Spencer Reid. 
> 
> super fulff intensifies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I'm still alive!  
> I know I know I was out for forever, but my week was the worst nightmare ever and I just had barely time to catch some sleep (seriously I just turned my laptop on today since idk tuesday) 
> 
> So I'm sorry It took me so long to update, I hope it never happens again because I miss writing as much as you guys miss reading it

**SPENCER’S POV**  


  
I couldn’t explain the fear inside me when I entered my small bathroom and saw her bleeding. My once rational mind had the information pounding over and over: _You could lose her at any second._ It was enough to make me want stop everything and try to put every single detail into place. What was going on? And how could I stop it? How could I stop her from crying? How could I stop the world from hurting this precious human being who has already being so hurt?  
I stood with her under the hot water in silence, I didn’t understand what was happening but I knew she needed me there, so I slowly let my hands make their way to her sore muscles helping them to relax, her breathing finally starting to calm down again.  
After almost half an hour under the shower she looked silently to me, saying she was okay with her eyes alone. I helped her out of the shower, getting a dry fluffy towel and helping her out of her dripping wet clothes. Guiding her to my room, I noticed she started to shiver from cold under the towel, her soft skin fragile under my touch. There was no heated desire now, despite the fact we were both practically naked on my room, all I wanted was to take care of her, to make her nightmares go away.  
  
“Let me take a look at your hand” I said as she put on one of my pajamas, the softest I found, and sit on my bed under a pile of blankets. I had gotten my first aid kit and was now cleaning the small cuts as she pouted.  
  
“I’m sorry about the mess” her voice came out husky and low, after all the crying. There was still a few tears on her rosy cheeks and I rose my fingers, wiping them away, hushing her.  
  
“Don’t worry about it, it’s okay…So, Batman or Halloween?” I said holding two different types of band aids in front of her, who chuckled lightly. My heart dropped a thousand pounds off its agony by seeing her smile.  
  
“Halloween” _that’s my girl_. I put on the bandage, a black cat with pumpkins and kissed her knuckles softly, putting them back down on the fluffy blankets.  
  
“it’s gonna be all good now… do you want something?” She confirmed with a head nod and I asked what with an eye expression, keeping silent.  
  
“Can you hold me until I sleep, please?” her eyes didn’t meet mine at the request, she was blushing. I think this is the first time I ever saw her ashamed of a weakness, even though I don’t actually think needing someone is a weakness. I moved my body to next to her, holding her against my chest and keeping my arms wrapped around her tightly.  
  
“Better?” I smiled down at her, who smiled back, relaxing into my arms.  
  
“You know how much you are important to me don’t you, Spencer? And how sorry I am that I am this messed up piece of crap…” I kissed her so she would stop the nonsense, a soft kiss, holding her face gently.  
  
“Stop that, you’re perfect. Stop it, okay? Don’t say that… I love you” I got lost into her eyes, they were deep and there was so much into them, there was hope, and pain, and darkness, and light. They’d light up everytime I’d say I love her, I was so beautiful…I’d do anything to see that light all the time.  
  
(Y/N) kissed me again, a deeper kiss this type, given herself to me completely. On that moment, I swear I felt like the super hero she said I was, she trusted me. When she laid down on my chest again to sleep, my heart was still racing, and her finger gently traced the skin over my chest. We stayed like that until both of us fell asleep, in silence, no words could possibly express the caring and love and tenderness of that moment, the sweet touches or the sweet nothings whispered looking into each other’s eyes. I was more than decided I would make her feel safe and loved and cared, and so I did.  
  
  
**(END OF SPENCER’S POV)**  
  
  
You woke up with the sudden feeling of pain all over your body, specially your hand. Remembering you were at Spencer’s and everything that happened, you slowly opened your eyes, knowing you would have to go home sooner to change and go to work. Spencer was still laying by your side, awake, with a book, but lying there, holding you; you couldn’t keep a smile of creeping on your face as you kept silent and not moving for some moments just to keep admiring him and how perfect he was on every detail and how he’d insist on read without glasses on and would had to narrow his eyes.  
  
“I know you’re awake” he said, holding a smile, eyes still on the book.  
  
“You’re no fun” you played, biting his shoulder lightly. Spencer put the book aside to hug you and bring you even closer.  
  
“No I am not” he said tickling you until you both fell from the bed, tears on your eyes.  
  
“Oooouch” you rolled from top of Spencer to the floor, still laughing. He looked into your eyes, catching his breath “Good Morning to you too, Reid”  
  
“Good Morning, love” he whispered back, making your heart melt  
  
“Hey, aren’t you late or something?” you asked as Spencer got up from the floor and helped you up as well. He denied, giving you a small kiss and (trying to) organize the total doom that was your hair. “What time is it?”  
  
“I don’t know, 10 something” he shrugged as you widened your eyes, desperate  
  
“Babe I’m super late!” you stormed out of the room to the living room where your stuff was, Spencer care right after you.  
  
“(Y/N), wait, I talked to Meg” _did you? Wait…_ “She called many times last night after we had slept and this morning when I was calling the BAU…so I picked it up, sorry… She told me, well, she said Jason was there last night and Gabe and all… I said you came here and was really nervous and I asked if you could stay home today because I had already asked the day out to take care of you and be with you” _you did what?_ He said the last part almost apologizing, on a low voice tone  
  
“You did what?” the question had you frozen in place.  
  
“I called the BAU and asked the day off to be here, with you. You were really nervous yesterday and you needed me and I thought…” you didn’t let him finish the sentence, kissing him. Spencer cupped your face with both his hands very carefully, chuckling into the kiss.  
  
“You are incredible ” you breathed out, eyes still closed, feeling his touch.  
  
  
You spent practically all day on the bed with Spencer, talking about nothing, watching stupid TV shows, cuddling and just enjoying his company, which was something you were growing used to. 

 

"Aren't you gonna ask me about yesterday?" you dropped the bomb during a break of some cartoon you were watching together. Your mind was racing too much for you to pay attention. Spencer looked at you, straight in the eyes, keeping silent for enough time for you to feel like you were about to have a heart attack.

 

"If you are ready to tell me and feel like telling me, then yes, I indeed want to know what happened to you" he touched your cheek with his thumbs, making small circles, you smiled into the touch "I trust you (Y/N), I don't need nor want you to hurt yourself just to tell me something. I know something bad happened, you came here really anxious and stressed and I don't want that for you..." you leaned over to kiss him, holding his hand with yours.

 

"I'm fine, you make me feel good and safe" a small smile was on your face as you went back to your spot on Spencer's chest "you're my super hero" you whispered, feeling him chuckle under you.  
You took some moments to think and breath before telling him everything that happened last night, trying not to get nervous and cry again. Spencer stood silent during your explanation of the events, running his fingers through your hair while you let all the words and fears and worries out of your mind. After you stopped talking and explained everything, Spencer sit up on the bed with you, looking straight into your eyes again, he was calm but inside you there was a hurricane of questions and worries and _what ifs_ , how could he stay so calm?  
  
“Babe, look, I want to tell you something” he licks his lips, pausing his words. There was a whole drumming set inside your heart.  
  
“It’s okay … it’s okay if you think this is too crazy and you don’t want this, us, Spence, I totally get it, don’t worry… No hurt feelings, I can go, I…” you rushed your words,  
  
 “Stop” he smiled at you, making you face him again, still. “I was about to ask if you don’t think it’s a good idea to stay here for a while…until it all calms down, you could stay here, if you want to I mean, I don’t wanna control you or anything…” he was asking you to stay? Trying to cope with his words all you could do for the moment was smile widely again, agreeing.  
  
“Okay” you whispered, seeing a smile reappear on his face too “Okay, I’ll love to stay for a while” you repeated, more sure of your words this time.  
  
“Great” Spencer sounded relief after your words, kissing you before continuing to speak “You want to go to your place pick something up? Some clothing?” his hands were still playing a little with your hair, you found out he really loved to play with the shaved sides of your mohawk and you loved it just as much. You replied with and affirmative nod to him and soon enough you were both on the way to your apartment.  
  
Once Spencer parked his car in front of the building, your eyes run around looking for any signs of trouble, apparently nothing but you just had this weird feeling…  
  
"Ok i'll get a few stuff from the bedroom, can you get my journal and my guitar wrapped up love?" you asked Reid as soon as you got into your apartment, still an uneasy feeling about being there. You knew you were safe but still… 

 

After a few minutes Reid went after you on your room, you were on the bathroom getting your stuff and Spencer took a look inside your closet, seeing it was open and you had a few clothes laying around

 

"Hey hey what are you looking for in there?" there was a smirk on your voice tone, you knew what he had just found. Spencer was bright red and smiling shyly at you, pulling you by the waist against his chest, biting your lower lip on a playful kiss.

 

"You're not the only one who got to play with handcuffs and chokes and all the funny jazz those crazy psycho you bust hang around, Doctor Spencer Reid" you said the last part looking from his eyes to his lips, Spencer was nervously licking them under your play tone of voice.

 

"I'm more and more sure you'll probably be the death of me, girl" he chuckled as you bit his jawline, leaving a trail of kisses. 

 

"And you're gonna love every second of it" you replied getting an affirmative humming in return. "C'mon I'm almost ready" you said, getting away and leaving a puppy eyed Spencer behind

 

"Why you do this to me?" He whined, making you laugh as you were getting some of your make up

 

"For your beautiful face" you finished your bag of clothing items and threw it on your back "let's go home babe" and winked at him, who was now chuckling at you. _He just couldn’t believe his own girlfriend.  
_ “I like the way you call it home” Spencer kissed your neck and held you firmly in between his body and the door, while you were locking outside, making you shiver and bit your lip. _Oh oh, was he on a playful mood?_

  
“I’ll get my bike and meet you home,” you winked at him, getting down the stairs together and going separate ways on the garage door. Getting your motorcycle was just logic since you’re about to spend a few days at Spencer’s, so you could go everywhere without needing rides or public transportation. You were still giggling and smirking with thoughts of Spencer when a silent scream died on the back of your throat.  
  
Your bike, the Queen of the Damned, your pride and joy, probably the most expansive thing you ever own was ruined, totally completely torn apart, smashed, beaten, scratched to pieces, ruined. You only felt you fell when your body hit the concrete floor tears of panic storming down again; with your phone in hand you were able to dial Spencer’s, but never said a word. A few minutes later, that felt like a century, you heard footsteps approaching and his voice calling you, soon arms were around you and he held you against his chest, looking away from the mess.  
On your head, you knew it was silly to cry and panic over a material item, but inside you it triggered so much more. You knew who did it, you knew it was meant to scare you, you were next, you were nothing near to the metal and iron of the bike, you could easily break. Your breath, which you were hardly controlling, now became erratic. Spencer held your face to him, making you look into his eyes again.  
  
“Look at me, you’re fine. You are with me, you are safe, nothing is going to happen, ok? It’s alright” you denied, crying again, you couldn’t speak when you were in shock, looking at the garbage ruin that once was your beloved Harley Davidson. “(Y/N), don’t look at that, look here, look at me, I’m gonna do a magic trick… do you wanna see a magic trick?” You were both on the concrete floor, on your knees, and Spencer started making his illusionism tricks to get your attention and mind on him, your eyes once out of focus were now paying full attention on his hands. Your brain was still totally off, but now it was for the best, at least you’d not panic.  
As soon as you stopped shaking and was breathing normal again, Spencer helped you to his car, still making you distracted from everything but him, you felt like you would pass out.  
  
“He did it to scare me” you mumbled on the way home, holding Spencer’s hand, your boyfriend looked at you worried.  
  
“It’s really for the best you’re staying with me for a few days” you smiled the best you could, agreeing with him, he knew you were sad and scared “He’s not going to touch you, I promise you that, never again.” Spencer’s words were deep and serious and he stopped the car to look at you “He can take everything from you, but me. Or yourself. He can take your motorcycle, or he can fuck your friends, he can try to creep around but I’ll be here, I promise, I’ll always be here, and he will never lay a finger on you again (Y/N), you have my word. Do you believe me?” you had tears starting to build again, but you just agreed with your head, smiling and leaning over to kiss him.  
  
“Let’s go home now, I had better ideas for our night” you said after Spencer started the car again in order to light up the mood, making him smile at you.  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter maybe up by tonight or tomorrow (since it's sunday and i'm free)  
> I hope you enjoy the extra fluffiness with fluffy fluff on top
> 
> Stay safe, love you all <3


	9. The Taste of Ink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spencer being spencer,  
> you being rad  
> cuteness  
> also IDK how to write these summaries anymore send halp

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 on a day? WHOOAAA (it's 00:55 I still haven't slept, IT'S SUNDAY)  
> I hope you can forgive me for my lack of updates on the past week my babies <3 
> 
> Anyway, go on, have fun, the songs I used on this Chapter are
> 
> Garbage - Queer
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ppiohVRZ0s
> 
> The Distillers: The Hunger  
> (Spencer's Song)
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYmUtpy4evU

  
“…and this was all that shit that went down” you were telling Meg everything while waiting for the last costumer, who was not on your schedule but Meg said they called yesterday so ok.  
  
“Shit” was all the artist managed to say, jaw opened, it was still hard to believe that Jason has done what he did… threats were one thing, but actually destroy something of you; Spencer wanted you to press charges and ask for a restrain order, but you knew better. Your band needed Jason contacts and well, he was always around so you just decided to try to forget about it.  
  
“I really don’t know how I’m gonna face that son of a bitch today, Meggs” you ran your fingers nervously through your hair. Your concert was in a few hours, you had even brought your acoustic guitar to the shop so you could show Meg the new song you would play today.  
  
“Don’t worry about it, we will all be there. I’m gonna be there, Spencer will be there, your friends, Nick, she never liked Jason…” you shrugged at her look, that was true, since your problems started there was an unspoken was in between Nick and Jason “And your FBI friends... just for the case” she made the gun shot gesture and _bang_ again, making you laugh in disbelief, _not that you would complain that much at this point.  
  
_ “So, what do you think of the song?” you asked, worried eyes.  
  
“It’s way to lovely… on your way of lovely” Meg chuckled as you heard the door ringing as someone walked in.  
  
“Spen…” your heart raced on a good way seeing the Doctor walk into the shop, you went from behind your desk to greet him with a kiss, he held you tight, making you smile. “We still have one last customer to go” Reid lifted his eyes, looking over your shoulders to Meg and smiling at you.  
  
“Actually…” Spencer and Meg were smirking at each other.  
  
“You gotta be kiddin’ me” you scuffed, not believing the facts in front of you, Spencer was now walking towards Meg’s chair, pulling you with him by the hand.  
  
“He is not” Meg still had a smirk of his face, you were now sitting next to Spencer, the artist pulled the design out of her artwork journal, it was exactly like the one you got one your right wrist, a nautilus shell. You looked open mouthed to Spencer, mumbling while your friends was preparing his own right wrist.  
  
“Babe, you can’t do this” you said, nervous, you couldn’t actually realize what was happening. “This is a tattoo, it’s forever…” now your eyes met Spencer’s and he giggled agreeing with you.  
  
“I know that, that’s what a tattoo is…” Spencer stroke a piece of hair out of your face, gently  
  
“And you don’t have any, you can’t just go around getting a tattoo” you sounded like your mother back on your teens before you got your first piece done, this was ridiculous “you are a FBI Agent…”  
  
“Derek has tattoos, Garcia has tattoos… “ Meg was finishing the design on Spencer’s arm”  
  
“They didn’t got it because of some random person…” you replied without thinking, making Spencer’s smile disappear. It was too much for you to believe you were getting matching tattoos, Spencer was too much for you.  
  
“You are my perfect ratio” he whispered to you, with soft loving eyes, making you lean to kiss him. _You didn’t deserve this guy_.  
  
  
“Okay you two, I wanna be the bridesmaid” Meg was melting over you two, who laughed and you made Spencer sit straight for her to make her artwork “Can I start?” she asked and he agreed, licking his lips nervously.  
  
You had fun watching Spencer making small painful faces while the needles made their way on his pale skin. It didn’t matter how many times you asked if it was hurting, his response was always the same _“No, it’s not hurting babe, I already got shot you know? This didn’t hurt”_ he laughed nervously, trying to control his expressions and you trying not to laugh.  
  
“Okay, you’re all done” Meg said, cleaning one last time her artwork on Reid skin “Did you like it?” she smiled at you both  
  
“I love it, thank you Meg!” he smiled widely and she shrugged, you hugged her.  
  
“It’s amazing, as always. You’re the best” she hugged you back, ruffling your hair.  
“I still want to be the bridesmaid” you chuckled at her request, trying to hide the red tone on your cheeks. “C’mon, go home now. You have a show later, I’ll see you in a bit, go go go” Meg was pushing you out of the door, Spencer went walking right behind you, saying thank you and goodbye to her.  
  
  
“How are you feeling?” Spencer asked on the way home, seeing you were quiet.  
  
“Nervous” you smirked at him, “but I’m fine, don’t worry” you run your fingers across his arm, lightly.  
  
  
Spencer was taking his shower while you were fixing your make up on the same bathroom, he had already gotten a new mirror and your stuff was already on the bathroom counter. It was a good feeling, a feeling of finally belonging somewhere, with someone, not to someone like before.  
  
“Love, I’m gonna need your help with my hair…” you laughed, seeing a Spencer with a fake Mohawk made of shampoo heading out of the shower “… you’re such a dork” you rolled your eyes, watching him wash out his hair, smiling widely at you.  
  
“What do you need?” he stopped by your side, after getting out of his shower, a towel around his hips and another on drying his hair.  
  
“To say I love you” you smiled at the view of him by your side, he was breathtaking. Spencer pulled you closer, biting your lower lip before run his warm tongue across it and kiss you passionately, making you moan as he grind his hips against yours. “Love, I really have to get dressed…” you chuckled under your breath, trying your best to control your urge to have him right there.  
  
“Okay…” he was kissing your neck now, making you breath deeply and running his hands on the back of your neck. You suddenly remembered why you needed his help.  
  
“And I need your help with my hair” you pushed Spencer away a little, getting the haircutting machine and handing it to him who pouted at you. “Just pass it on the sides” He agreed, making a funny scared face before turning the buzzing machine on.  
  
You never thought the act of asking Spencer to help you redo the undercuts of your hair would give you laughing crisis with no end. He would make funny desperate faces in front of the mirror mumbling _“shit_ ” and “ _uh oh_ ”, when he was finally done, Spencer ran his hands on the sides of your hair adorably, and you almost purred at his touch.  
  
“Now I know what would be like to cuddle with Derek” he chuckled, getting hit by you on the chest multiple times before running out of the bathroom, you went back to focus on your make up.  
  
  
**SPENCER’S POV  
  
  
** I run to the room, easy laughing at the situation. Life was easy with her, not on a petit-minded kind of way. Just easy. It was just right, to be with her, waking up next to her, her stuff laying around the house, her smell on my bed, our bed, our house. This was our life now. I looked down at my wrist, smiling. For once, my mind didn’t scare me, the whole world could fall apart outside these walls, but here, nothing was wrong. My whole universe was just there, I could reach it, smiling… It was smiling while applying her so called messed make up in front of the mirror, singing songs I didn’t know before I met her and now I honestly could sing by heart, and I loved it.  
  
“What?” she took me out of my thoughts “is it bad?” (Y/N) signalized her make up and I smiled, she looked amazing  
  
“You look like a broken doll” and I knew that was her spirit, she smiled even widely, kissing me and going to her side of the closet, picking some clothes. I had promised her I would let her pick my outfit for today as well, since I didn’t know the place and she said it would be full of people who’d not exactly be friends with _a nerd_.  
  
She picked me a dark fitting T-shirt, dark pants and a vest. Okay, I can do this, this is nice. (Y/N) came out of the bathroom again, she was wearing a simple ripped cropped band T-shirt and ripped pants, along with combat boots and a belt made of bullets. She looked like someone who could kill someone, it was sexy…  
  
“Ready?” I agreed and she messed her hair again “Let’s do this” she picked her guitar and we walked out of the door.  
  
The place was already getting full of people when we arrived. She introduced me to the security on the door, a guy named Chris which she whispered me was “ _one of the good guys”_ and “ _saved my ass more times than I can count”_ so I mentally thanked the tall, build man. He indeed seemed very friendly.  
  
“Here it is out superstar” a sarcastic laugh came from the left side, the bar. I felt she tensing under my touch and no words were needed, I knew who that was.  
  
“It’s okay love, I’m here, I’m right here with you” I whispered at her ear, she had stopped, keeping her breathing steady. I knew she was furious. She agreed, keeping on walking, her hand holding mine with more strength.  
“Hi” her words were meant to the other people around, Meg with a tall blonde guy I assumed being Mark, Gabe and the girl I assumed being Nick; pink haired and looking straight out of a fashion magazine from Japan. Now I got why Penelope was so obsessed over her.  
  
The tall brunette man, tallest of them all, stood there, looking straight at her, not even blinking. There was a superiority glaze on him, like he thought he was better than everybody, I always hated people like that, there was the type of people who bullied me my entire life. Ridiculous people.  
  
“So this is your new chewing toy…” his eyes measured me up and down, _did he just?_ I held (Y/N) by her hand, I could swear she was ready to punch him, well, I was.  
  
“Jason, this is Spencer.” she groaned as his eyes met mine on a silent greeting, not friendly at all, even tough the smirk never left his face.  
  
“Enjoy my trash while you can, boy” now I really had to hold her back, Nick coming over to help me.  
  
“It’s not worth it” the girl  said to (Y/N) who was red of anger.  
  
“I’m gonna kill him, I swear I’m gonna kill the motherfucker…” I was holding down her waist and pulled her against me again. “I’m so sorry, babe” she looked frustrated at me, was she worried about me? I caressed her face smiling.  
  
“It’s okay, I’m fine. I love you” I kissed her lips slowly, feeling her calm down under my touch “You have a concert to play, don’t worry about me” she smiled at me, holding my hand again.  
  
“Hi, I’m Nick, you’re the nerd right?” the pink haired girl smiled at me, offering her hand. She was over enthusiastic and adorable.  
  
“Please take care” my lover’s worried eyes made my insides turn, she looked at me like I could break, like I could disappear into thin air, not on a bad way. I agreed, trying to ease her worries as Meg came close to us  
  
“Don’t worry I got him” Meg said, getting her arm around (Y/N)’s neck and kissing her cheek. “Go raise some hell with those fuckers, my queen, I’ll protect your man” Meg winked at her pulling me by the arm with her next, apparently she had a table next to the stage.  
  
  
“I’m really happy for you guys you know?” she said after we sit down, the lounge music was loud but we could still talk “I know you love her, and it’s nice to see her happy and healthy again. Thank you” I took a moment to look at the girl, she was being honest.  
“I thought you were friends with Jason… I mean, you sister dates him, doesn’t she? And your boyfriend is his friend…” for all (Y/N) told me, it looked quite obvious they were friends, but she chuckled, almost sad.  
  
“He is a not friend to anyone but his damn ego, and he hurts a lot of people like that… (Y/N) is my best friend, I saw her happy and I saw her sad, I saw her best and worse with him, and nothing was just as near as radiant as how she is with you” her words made me smile without me realizing it, only after the artist swoon and smiled at me that I knew I was probably looking like a fool to her. It didn’t matter, I was a fool for my love.  
  
“I love her more than anything, she’s … she’s that special someone you never thought you’d actually meet… she’s my person” I said looking down at my hands and my recently done tattoo and then at her.  
  
“You two are so cuuuuute” her reaction made me chuckle, taking a sip of my drink to hide my light blush of embarrassment.  
  
“There you are! Hey Meggs” Penelope’s voice came out of the crowd  
  
“Pretty boy!! And pretty lady” Morgan showed up right after her, greeting me and kissing Meg’s knuckles on a courtesy, making her blush.  
  
“What did we miss?” Garcia was now sitting next to me “Hey WHAT IS THIS?” she pulled my arm to check my tattoo “OH MY GOD YOU GOT INKED!!! Meg did you do this?” she agreed, Penelope looked to Morgan who was sit by her side next to Meg “Did you know about this? Did you know about our boy getting a tattoo??” What am I? 15? Derek denied, drinking his beer “Why a shell???”  
  
“It’s a perfect ratio, (Y/N) got one too” Meg explained, almost immediately I felt Garcia swoon over me  
  
“OHH YOU’RE SO CUUUTEEE I WANNA BE THE BRIDESMAID”  
  
“I asked first!” Meg objected and Derek rolled his eyes, making me laugh. A noise on the stage made our attention to go there. The band was getting ready to start.  
  
They started with a version on Garbage’s Queer it was not the type of song I’d listen to, but obviously now I knew it. And It was fun to watch (Y/N) on stage, she and Nick had an amazing chemistry and looked like they were just teens playing around. She was really an enchantress on the stage, controlling everyone’s attention, her moves were somehow sexy and powerful. I could see she kept looking at me at some moments. I just couldn’t look away, not even to the other people on the band, I could see them when she was near them, otherwise all my eyes met was her, moving around, singing her songs, enchanting the people to love her. I knew no one could love her like I loved her, no one could touch her and have her, no one would hold her at night and hear her breath and see her wake up and she wouldn’t call them super hero’s. Yes, I was jealous of how some hands touch her and reach her body when she threw herself on the small crowd, yes, I didn’t quite like that, but I knew there was not my lover, not my (Y/N). The enchantress might have lure me into her mysteries and tales, but her true heart was what turned my world around, and that I was sure was mine, and mine only.  
  
**END OF SPENCER’S P.O.V.**  
  
  
The show was going amazingly well, Spencer was sitting on a table and you could spot him all the time, what made your heart feel lighter. On the middle of the concert, half of the band left the stage for drinks and only you and Nick were around, that was your moment.  
  
“I’m nervous” you whispered at her, fixing some chords of her guitar.  
  
“Stop the nonsense, just do it. I’m gonna sing after it and then we’re back for the grand finale, you are amazing you rock, let’s do this” she kissed your face, making you smile. _What would you do without her?_ You went back for the audience, getting a confident smile from Meg, she knew your plan as well.  
  
  
"And this is our soft moment" a few whines from the audience, mostly your friends, making you laugh and sit with your guitar "don't be bitches you all... Hi!!" you said getting the microphone again, Nick had an acoustic guitar and a huge silly smile on her face. "For those who doesn't know me, I am (Y/N)..." 

 

"I'm Nick!" The pink haired girl said, waving and making the people chuckle. It was a common reaction to her, she was sunshine and happiness into one little person.

 

"...and I am pretty sure I know almost all of you, I recognize your faces... And you probably know little old me, so I'm gonna ask a question and tell a story, in that order..." you were actually really nervous and trying not to show.It was the first time you were sober on a concert in a long time, you wanted to be sober for this. Your friends and Spencer were near the stage and you looked around, trying to spot couples on the small crowd and tables. You picked up a bottle of water, feeling those brown warm eyes on you.

 

"Okay do we have any first date couples here? Anyone?" A few hands were raises on the small crowd and you swooned a little "okay, okay, any of you were blind dates? Like... Totally blind dates?" They denied and you chuckle out of nervousness "Who even does that nowadays, right? I'm gonna tell you something, I did it"

 

"Is she talking about you guys?" Penelope whispered to Spencer, who was open mouthed at the scene, looking at you.

 

"My friend, she was absolutely sure I needed to meet this friend of hers, she set me up... And I don’t know why but I said _Oh fuck, let's do this_ and well, how many surprises can we get?” your eyes now met Spencer’s and you felt the redness creeping up your cheeks, you were trying your best to beat it. Suddenly you became very conscious of the world around you.

  
“Well, and there I went, to meet this person on a coffee shop, a fancy one, you know? I’m not a fancy girl…And it was…. Awkwardness at first sigh” you laughed, nervously, Spencer agreed with his head making your laugh lighter on your chest “But he was… yes, it was a he, it is a he, we’re together, there’s a happy ending guys… anyway, he’s this amazing human being, this perfect soul and I’m happy we were able to see above it all and actually see each other. I’m happy I could see you, I’m happy you sent me those flowers and I stupid kissed you on your job in front of everybody and asked you out again. I’m happy we were interrupted by a call from your goddamn job and it drove me insane for a fucking weekend because you were there” you chuckle at the laughs of your audience “I really hate his job sometimes… I’m glad you came back to me and made me pancakes, and my mind is crazy and unstable and yours is perfect and just as unstable and fucked up and beautiful…. I don’t think I’m able to express how much I’m happy with you, how much I’m thankful, and how much I love you” you had tears on your eyes on the end of your little speech, which ended you looking straight into Spencer’s eyes.  
  
_“I love you”_ he mumbled back at you, making you look to the crowd again  
  
“Anyway, I am not good on expressing myself, but I can sing and write, so this is a new song I wrote for you hope you like it”  
  
**_"Holy eyes,_**  
**_I never knew I'd beg down at your feet._**  
**_Hold on tight I never,_**  
**_never know much more than this._**  
**_Open sky the wave of pain the scent of you is bliss._**  
**_Hungry eyes they stare at me,_**  
**_I know, I know, don't go._**  
**_summertime the taste of saint secrets,_**  
**_perfume mist console the mind I take it in, lips of pink I kiss,_**  
**_Lonely sky the more you take the more I give in._**  
**_Holy eyes, I never knew, I know, I know don't go._**  
**_Hold on to the memory its all you got,_**  
_I know you'll be there to soak up blood lost_ ,"

  
You finished the song, all your song was put in it, the screams, the feelings, everything. You let Nick assume the vocals and jumping down to go meet Spencer, you were nervous to know what he thought of your song, _what if he hated it?_  
  
He stood up as soon as he saw you coming around, holding you strongly into his arms and cupping your face into his soft hands, making you melt inside to the touch.  
  
“You’re perfect” he whispered close to your lips, without touching it.  
  
“Did you like it?” your eyes were locked into his warm brown ones, looking for a sign.  
  
“It was the most raw, intense, wild, beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, just like you” after his reply, you crashed his lips with yours, holding onto him for dear life. Your hands pulling his hair softly, making him press his body against you with more strength and moan into the kiss, surprised.  
  
“Guys, we’re still here” Penelope called, seeing Reid’s hands were now up and down your body and you had no intentions of stop him.  
  
Spencer laughed at the situation and you breathed out a _fuck_ knowing you had to go back to the stage soon.  
  
“Don’t go anywhere, we’re far from over” you said to him, completely ignoring the fact that you were on his house.  
  
“I wouldn’t even dream of it, my queen” he chuckled, taking a sip of his drink, which you took from his hand and ended in one single gulp before running back to the stage.  
  
“Isn’t she the hottest, cutest little thing? I told you, you would love her” Penelope said, as soon as Spencer sit down again, proud of her matchmaking skills.  
  
“And what did you tell her?” He asked, curious now, he never asked (Y/N) what Penelope told her about him.  
  
“Long hair, and I just made her go…” _really, that was her criteria?_ Spencer laughed, “You own me big time, you know that” the boy agreed, watching his girlfriend go back on stage and play more songs. He was still on the ecstasy of knowing she wrote a song for him.  
  
  
  
Four songs later, the band thanked the crowd and said goodnight, letting the lounge music take the place of loud guitars and drums and screams, it didn’t took long for everyone to reappear, Spencer smiling widely when he saw you.  
  
“How did you like the hell we arise?” you asked, kissing his collarbones, he was still sitting and you hugged him from the back  
  
“I loved it” He smiled at you, who kept kissing his neck, making him shiver.  
  
It was hard to control your urge, you wanted him, you wanted everybody out and wanted him right there but socializing id part of being on a band so gladly, half an hour later when Nick called it a night and asked for a ride home, you saw a perfect excuse to get away from there.  
  
“Is it me or you just didn’t enjoy your night?” Spencer asked as soon as you walked inside the house, you made a whining sound, feeling him chuckle against your back on the hug he was giving you.  
  
“I did enjoy my night, but I still have some plans for it that involve me, leather, handcuffs and a certain Doctor…” you turned to him, running your hands on his chest, feeling his heart speed up on your low voice tone  
  
“You really enjoy calling me Doctor, don’t you?” he smirked at you guiding you to the bedroom, you were biting your lip on anticipation.  
  
“I do, Doctor.” Your body crashed the mattress with more strength than you were used to with Spencer, his body holding yours down, his mouth biting down your neck and shoulders, making you moan. _Definitely, you would enjoy your night_  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be unnecessary smut to us needy fangirls, yes, sorry not sorry. It will be warned don't worry. 
> 
> Remember I love you all, and I'm always around to talk <3 
> 
> Stay safe and sound!


	10. Drunk Spencer is the best Spencer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the title pretty much says it all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay i'm back here.   
> Sorry I was away, no I didn't forget you  
> holidays and I'm moving so yeah  
> Hope you enjoy this little chapter. The idea for it was a courtesy of my lovely makemeahunter Sampunzel baby
> 
> You can thank her <3

**SATURDAY NIGHT – ON YOUR WAY TO JJ’s HOUSE**  
  
  
“What if they don’t like me??” you said biting down your lip, nervously. It was the first time you’d met some of Spencer’s co-workers and friends, what if they thought you were not good for him? What if he finally see how you two are complete different beings and regret everything?  
  
“They’ll love you, baby. Relax, it’s not big deal, and there’s Penelope and Derek, you know them…” _okay, yeah, that was a good part_ … _okay._ “and JJ looking forward to meet you, she’s super excited. I’m sure you will love each other…” you try your best to control the nervousness and smile, you knew the FBI crew was one of the biggest parts on Spencer’s life, and if you were now part of his life, you had to get along with them. Also, he just seemed so happy it was hard not to be happy as well.  
  
You finally arrived at the house, getting out of the car you fixed your clothes out; Spencer said it was nothing fancy but still you tried to look presentable and nice so you tried some of the only not ripped clothing you had: a white blouse and some dark denims.  
  
“Ready?” Spencer asked as you both got out of the car, walking towards the door.  
  
“No” you giggled, making him hug you by the waist and lightly kiss you before knocking on the door.  
  
“Hey you’re here!” a blonde woman opened the door, JJ you presumed. She greeted Spencer with a hug and looked at you, a sweet big smile on her face “Hi… you must be (Y/N), nice to meet you, I’m JJ”   
  
“Hi, thanks for inviting me…” you smiled as she guided both of you into the house, it was a fancy place, a place you’d never see yourself into, but awesome nevertheless.   
  
“Uncle Spenceeeeeer” a small boy came running and Spencer picked him up on a hug. The act itself made you smile.  
  
“Hey buddy… I want you to meet someone” He turned to you and looked at the kid and you “Henry, this is (Y/N)… She’s very special to me and I hope you like her.” The little boy agreed, offering you his little hand  
  
“Hi, I’m Henry, are you uncle Spencer’s girlfriend?” he asked, on the usual child way of saying things, making you chuckle as you accepted the little hand.  
  
“As a matter of fact, Henry, yes I am, is that okay with you?” you asked, your eyes going from the kid to Spencer’s, who was holding back a huge smile.   
  
“Yes, do you wanna play with me?” Henry asked again, as Spencer put him down.  
  
“I’d love to! Thank you!” Henry grabbed your hand and pulled you into the house, all you could do was smile at Spencer before going after the child.  
  
“I’ll meet you in a minute” Spencer said as you passed through him, you could see Derek and Penelope and a couple of other people around while you were dragged to the other room with Henry, who was watching a movie and playing with action figures.  
  
“Looks like Henry liked her” JJ said, coming near Spencer again, he accepted the drink she offered him, his eyes shinning at the recent scene.

 

The dinner was easier than you thought, everyone was super nice to you and after a couple of minutes you started to feel more like yourself, even the more serious guys – who everyone kept calling Sir – Mr. Hotchner, was very nice to you and even joked about Spencer getting a girlfriend. You learned by him you were the first girl they ever saw Spencer with, so they were all feeling like it was their kid’s first date or something, it honestly made you laugh.  
  
JJ and her husband were super receptive to you as well, you offered to help her with the dishes or dessert or anything but she said she was good, still Henry was around his mother all the time after the dinner.  
  
“Henry, let’s do something” you said, kneeling down to the kids height, seeing JJ could use a break to have a time for her guests “what do you say me and you go have ice cream and watch cartoons while the adults do their boring stuff??” you winked at him who looked at his mother and then looked at you.  
  
“But you’re an adult, lady…” he said, confused. The kid was just too cute you had to hug him and squeeze him a little.  
  
“but I’m not boring… c’mon let’s grab the ice cream and talk to uncle spencer then we go” Henry agreed, taking your hand. You smiled at JJ, who was watching your little conversation and went to Spencer.   
  
“Oh…I am starting to feel like you’re leaving me for another little man, (Y/N)” Spencer joked, looking at Henry, holding hands with you.   
  
“Don’t be silly uncle Spencer, she’s your girlfriend, we’re just watching movies” Henry said, giggling out loud and making both of you laugh as well.   
  
“Are you okay?” Spencer asked you on a low voice tone, you agreed.  
  
“Years of babysitting can be useful sometimes, c’mon enjoy your friends and your party. I’m having fun” you smiled at him, before receiving a small kiss   
  
“I love you” Spencer muttered at you, who replied before going to get the ice cream for Henry.  
  
  
  
You could hear Spencer’s laugher from the other room, he was probably doing some of his illusionist tricks with everybody. Henry was watching Alvin and the Chipmunks until he got asleep, so you decided to call his parents to get him to bed.   
  
“Guys, Henry is asleep…” you walked into the other room, seeing a quite …drunk? Spencer. JJ stood up to get his son to bed and you walked to your boyfriend, trying to understand the situation.  
  
“Are you drunk?” you laugh at him, who now was blushing like a teenage boy.  
  
“No…maybe” he said, laughing   
  
“He is drunk” Penelope said to you, everyone was as amazed at the fact as you were “What were you watching with Henry?”  
  
“Alvin and the chipmunks…” Spencer grip on you grew stronger and he kissed your face, making you laugh. “Baby…”   
  
“I love you (Y/N) I wanna have a family with you, you know that?” _okay no more booze for you Spencer_ “Penny… Penny... THANK YOU FOR (Y/N), she… she is perfect… isn’t she??” now Spencer had left you and almost fell over Penelope, who helped you hold him.   
  
“Okay, Mr. Booze, let’s get you to the couch…” you got him by the waist and walked him to the TV room where you were with Henry, letting him down. Spencer started to watch the movie on the TV, focused on the little talking animals as you went get him some water.  
  
“This doesn’t make any… any sense” Spencer mumbled as you walked back to the TV room, the chipmunks were now singing. “Animals can’t talk like humans. Or dance or do choreographies… this movie is a lieeee” he screamed at the TV.   
  
“It’s a children’s movie baby, it’s not supposed to make sense” seeing Spencer drunk was way too funny to ignore, his lovely hair was all messy and he had this blush all over his face.  
  
“You’re good with children…” He looked at you now “Are we gonna have children?” _are you really asking me this Spence?_ The next thing you new Spencer was leaning over you, kissing you and pressing his body over yours, passionately.

 

“Spencer…” his hands were already under your blouse and you had to stop him, with all willpower from your heart. As soon as you broke the kiss he looked from you to the TV again, one of the chipmunks were talking percentages and science facts.  
  
“Oh I like this guy…” he said, straighten himself up on the couch again to watch the movie.   
  
Spencer kept watching the movie until the end, still complaining how that was not possible and how humans could not possible talk to animals or they could not sing, how the high pitch voice was unnecessary and all scientific facts that made the movie impossible to exist in real life, it doesn’t matter how many times you remind him it was a children’s movie.  
  
“Gosh you’re gonna be an awful parent!” you said turning off the TV when the movie finally ended – because he insisted to watch _the nonsense_ until the end  
  
“A realistic one!” he complained again, a little less happy drunk and more sleepy. JJ came help you with him, since you decided it was more than time for you both to hit home, you were the last ones in there and you were sure she wanted some time with her husband as well.  
  
“I’m sorry, JJ.” You said, holding Spencer so he would start walking around and fall over stuff like he had done previously on the night.  
  
“It’s okay… Are you sure you don’t want us to drive you home or call a taxi?” She looked unsure to Spencer, who had his face buried into your neck now.  
  
“No, I got him, I’m gonna drive home. It’s fine… Thank you for everything” you said again, on the door.  
  
“Thank you JJ, I love you JJ… have you met my girlfriend?? She said we’re gonna have a beeaa… a beaaauu… I mean, we’re gonna have a beaaautifull family” Spencer hugged JJ one last time, she laughed at you who rolled your eyes, almost sorry again for Spencer’s acts, but it was just too lovely.  
  
“I’m sure you will Spence.. I’m sure you will…” She said, handing him to you again “Thanks for helping with Henry, by the way, and please let us know you got home safe” She now half hugged you.  
  
“No problem” you waved your last goodbyes, walking your boyfriend to the passenger’s seat of the car and running to the driver’s side.   
  
  
Spencer spend the whole time mumbling a song you could swear was from the movie, but he just wasn’t awake or sober enough to talk, until you noticed his breath started to become shortly and he opened his eyes, _oh no.  
  
_ “baby, are you okay?” you stopped the car on the driveway, holding his hand. Spencer was cold. _Oh fuck._ You ran out of the car to open his door and help him, holding his head and hair up “I’ve got you, I’ve got you” you couldn’t help but laugh at the perfect nerd drunkenness. He was now throwing up something green and really disgusting but to you, it was hilarious. “Better?” you asked as you noticed there was nothing more to come out from his stomach, he whined a weak _yes_ and you went back to your drive home, trying hard not to giggle at the absurd situation of you being the sober one.  
  
  
As you hit home, you sit Spencer on the couch to get him some milk, it would help with the stomach and the hangover.  
  
“Don’t leave me” he held you as you were trying to get up and walk to the kitchen, you walked back and held his hand “I love you, please don’t leave… please, I’m sorry” was he… was he about to cry? “I love you…”  
  
“I’ll be right back, I’m going to the kitchen and be right back” you said taking a few stripes of messed up hair from his face s he agreed, starting to sob and holding a small Dr. Who Cushion.  
  
You took a glass of water for yourself and warm milk for Spencer, but as you walked back to the living room, he had already passed out holding the Tardis cushion. Again, all you could do was laugh, sitting on the coffee table and starting to take off his shoes and getting him more comfortable on the couch, Heaven knows how hangover would he wake up.   
  
  
**SPENCER’S POV**  
  
  
Everything was moving, my head was pounding and the lights were too bright. There was a whole in my stomach and I felt like shit, _oh please let me be home._ I slowly open up my eyes, the best I could, whining, to see (Y/N) sitting on the other couch, reading a book and occasionally looking at me  
  
“Good morning, Mr. Jack Daniel’s” she laughed, as much as I loved her laugh, it made my head feel like it would explode and I closed my eyes again “sorry… here, take this, it’ll make you feel better” she handed me some Ibuprofen and a glass of warm milk. I did as she said, not having the willpower to do nothing else but agree with anything. Was I drugged?  
  
“What happed?” I asked with the best voice I could find, a low growl on the back of my throat, who was also hurting. She had that look again, that smirk on her face and that look that said she knew the best jokes on the world and wouldn’t tell me.  
  
“You got drunk, and I swear you are one of the best drunk I’ve ever seen” _am I_ “We got euphoria, critical, naughty – that one is nice we should try at home” she winked at me and I could feel myself blushing “loving drunk, ‘I’m gonna puke and die’ drunk and finally the best …. Sad, full of feelings drunk. You’re just amazing you know that??” She tossed herself on my side on the couch and it felt like an earthquake hit my head as a whined. She laughed again, of course it was funny to her.  
  
_“And why did I dream I was a chipmunk?”_   
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I'm here for all of you my darlings
> 
> Stay awesome, be nice to each other and remember: don't drink and watch chipmunks movies


	11. Forever hold your peace.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's a little twist on our story here, big things coming. 
> 
> (i really have to write one of this at every chapter?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please don't hate me i went MIA i was moving and it is a pain and take time x.x sorry  
> now it's all settled, I guess. So yeah, this chapter is a little shorter than usual but I just thought it was right to end like this and put the rest on the next one (already a WIP)
> 
> grab some tissues, you might need it

“I am never drinking again” Spencer cried due to his headache, eyes closed “Why do I have all these pop songs on my head?” all you could do was laugh, he sounded too much like an old grandpa, or a sleepy child, all moody and grumpy but cute nevertheless so all you did was cuddle him and do anything he asked – including chocolate cake and taking naps together when the hangover medicine hit him.  
  
Taking care of Spencer, being with Spencer was easy, easy in a good way. In a way you never thought it was possible in your life. It was the perfect, ridiculous Apple Pie life, and you loved it. You loved to cook for him, and to wait for him when he had to travel, and you loved his little surprises for you, how he was always supportive of your music and any type of art you made – from stupid drawings to photography compositions or learning how to play piano (which according to him was easy because ‘it’s basically math’), you’d never get tired of waking up next to his sleepy face, the way his hair fell over the frame of his face or how he would narrow his eyes when he was focus on something. How funny and perfect he was everytime he got drunk – you managed to get him drunk a couple more times after the first just to watch – how his smile could light up everything. You looked at Spencer and you knew, you were finally were you belong, you were finally happy.   
  
  
  
  
  
  
   
  
It’s been almost a year since you moved in with Spencer. Almost a year together, it indeed was not the easiest but for sure it was worthy. Your band had basically ended, you were making music only with Nick now, and she got you both some nice contacts, one of them asked you and Nick to go to London and start working and recording there, since the producers were from there and your new music got them interested. Of course you said you were not going, you wouldn’t live your life behind now. Now you were happy, as happy as you never thought you could possibly be, you wouldn’t put it on risk. Spencer tried to convince you to accept, saying it would be a short time and it was you dream, but you just ignore it. Actually, the subject was a very recurrent argument between you.  
  
“Hey darling” you said out loud, entering home from your day job. Spencer was probably on the room. He was, you hugged him from the back, leaving kisses on his shoulder blades, Spencer didn’t turn to see you, he was organizing some clothing “Babe what happened? Are you traveling again”? You sit on the bed, watching him folding his clothing itens.   
  
“No, I’m leaving” you laughed, but an emotional punch hit your stomach as you saw he was not laughing, Spencer noticed your silence and took a deep breath, still not looking you in the eyes “They need someone to work on the BAU in Los Angeles, I got called, I’m going” _oh, we’re moving…_  
  
“You should have told me! I always wanted to go to LA, I gotta tell Meg we’re moving” you tried your best to ignore the seriousness on his face and got up the bed.   
  
“We are not moving (Y/N), I am going” Spencer still wouldn’t look you in the eyes and you felt a knot on your throat, as your fears became reality.  
  
“Why…” it’s all you managed to ask, on a tone barely more than a whisper, fighting back the tears that were starting to fall from on your eyes  
  
“It’s for the best, for both of us. You can stay here since you don’t have your apartment anymore” the calm tone on his voice was killing you, It looked like he has been planning this for days, like he was... relieved?  
  
“I’m not staying here without you” the idea was just ridiculous “What about us?” He went completely silent again, closing one of his luggage. “What about us Spencer?” you asked again, on a more firm voice, gosh if he was breaking up with you he should at least give you an explanation.   
  
“I’ll come here tomorrow to get the rest of my stuff” again, he didn’t give you a proper answer, only putting a bag on his shoulder and walking towards the door.   
  
“Where are you going? Come back here!” now the tears had the best of you and you just didn’t care. He couldn’t leave you, not him. “Why are you doing this to me?” you stopped a few steps from him, close enough to see he had tears on his eyes too “Please don’t go, why you’re doing this to me?” you reached your hand to touch him, but Spencer was faster  
  
“I’m sorry” he mumbled, kissing your forehead one last time and walking out of the door, without saying anything else. When the door close, you could swear you heard the sound of your whole world falling down.  
  
  
  
**SPENCER P.O.V.**  
  
  
  
It was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever did after leaving my mother at a mental hospital, but just like that, it had to be done. I was clearly being a problem on her life, (Y/N) had chances and talent to be big, to go after her dreams and she wouldn’t because she has such a big heart. I don’t deserve her love, that is the truth, and as much as I feel like I’m dying and I’m probably never going to be able to meet someone like her, and my selfishness screaming on my head that I should keep her to myself and this idea is stupid, I know love sometimes is about to let go, so I did.  
  
(Y/N) had a chance to grow on her music career, go to other places, meet people, and I knew she would if there wasn’t for me. I was pulling her down, making her stay here on her job and small presentations, she deserved the world.  
  
So, when I heard about working in Los Angeles for some time I knew I had to go, It was the only way to make (Y/N) think about herself instead of me, of us, for once. I knew she would hate me but it was for the best.   
I didn’t imagine, though, that on the day I was packing to go she would come home earlier. Of course I would talk to her, but I wanted to have everything ready first, seeing those (y/e/c) eyes full of doubt and pain was harder than anything to me. I couldn’t say the words, I couldn’t look at her, so I just walked away, a coward.   
  
On my way to Derek’s place – where I would stay before going to the airport tomorrow - my phone rang nonstop, (Y/N)’s number and picture on the screen only making it harder. She had to understand I was doing this for her, she might be hurt but I was dying inside.  
  
“I still don’t understand why you’re doing this, man. I thought you and (Y/N) were fine” Derek said as I entered his place, he noticed my humor on my face.  
  
“It’s complicated” … I am a coward   
  
“I hope you know what you’re doing, pretty boy” Derek said again, a sad expression on his face, I smiled the best I could, thanking him for letting me stay the night. The next morning I’d pick the rest of my stuff while (Y/N) is at work and go to the airport. It was the best to be done, I had only to convince myself of it.  
  
  



	12. Out of the Woods

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's some time lapse here that was crucial to the story, lots of stuff happens, big surprise, woo hoo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey you lovelies! 
> 
> After some write's block and some help of my always lovely and amazing Hiba, I'm back  
> please don't hate the time lapse, believe me I know where I am going. 
> 
> And yes, 1989 by T Swift is my break up album i listen to it a lot when I think about my shitty past relationships  
> (and the song I refer to on the chapter is, obvs, out of the woods)
> 
> Have fun, grab some tissue. Dont hate me.

**  
** “I still don’t understand” Nick said walking with me after a well deserved beer, as I told her what happened on the day before “I thought you guys were fine”  
  
“So did I, but I guess LA and a promotion are better” you said bitter “I don’t know, I just… ugh, I don’t want to cry anymore” you spent the whole day fighting against the tears creeping up your face, you had cried the whole night and slept nothing, you honestly wanted to pass out and forget about everything “Listen Nicks, I’m just gonna go home okay? I really need to pass out for 10 hours or so” she smiles at you and hugged you goodbye before you walked out of the place, not fighting your tears anymore.   
  
Your way home was completely automatic, you just realized you were there when you were at the door, your tears completely washing out your face.   
An even bigger knot formed inside you as you entered the place and noticed you were not alone, there were bags on the hallway and a noise coming from the bedroom. You stood there, petrified, until Spencer showed up; by the expression on his face, he didn’t expect to meet you either.   
  
“Hi…” your voice was barely a husky whisper and his eyes only met yours for a brief second before bringing another luggage close to the door.   
  
“I’m sorry I didn’t think I’d meet you here”  
  
“It’s your house, Spencer, I am the one who shouldn’t be here.” Your eyes followed his steps, as he opened the door and started to carry everything out “I’ll find a place to live, maybe with Nick”   
  
“You know you can stay here, (Y/N)” his voice was low, his eyes on his feet.  
  
“How am I supposed to stay here without you?” your weak voice was enough to make Spencer stop on his feet and look at you for once, staring at your red, puffy eyes “How am I supposed to stay on a place that absolutely everything reminds me of the person that made me believe in life again and now is breaking my heart…” he made his way to you, hands awkwardly not knowing what to do. “You’re breaking my heart, Spencer” the tears never left your eyes but you knew Spencer had tears going down his face as well, his arms were now around you on a protective hug.  
  
“I’m sorry” that was all he managed to say, still holding you close while both of you breathed each other, crying. Everything was even more confuse to you now.   
  
“Why are you doing this to me?” Spencer grip on you grew tighter “what have I done wrong?” finally he stood away only to look you in the eyes, holding your face in his hands  
  
“I will always love you, you are amazing and I’ll never love someone as I love you. I knew I could be happy by your side, I knew what life truly was by your side…” you shook your head, wiping away some tears _what was he talking about?_  
  
“Then stay, or let me go with you… I can go with you” the tone in your voice was almost desperate but you just didn’t care anymore.  
  
“You don’t understand…” Spencer breathed out but was cut by a kiss, your lips looking for his, desperately. The salty taste of tears mixed with the coffee in Spencer’s mouth as you held him the strongest you could, the closer you could. When finally you both run out of air, his eyes met your again “I am sorry” and with a last kiss on your forehead he let go, walking his last luggage out and looking one last time at you, frozen at the same spot “I love you” he mimicked with his lips, before closing the door.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
It took you some time to understand the emptiness on the apartment, and on your chest. You knew by Penny that Spencer was fine in LA, that he was taking his medicine to his migraines and doing great. You were a mess, you quit your day job because you just couldn’t get out of bed. Nick was now living with you because, honestly, all your friends were concerned about your health. She would force you to get out of bed and make music, to eat and walk around. On the first month you would cry almost all the time you were alone, especially at night. There was even one time Nick had to take you to the hospital because of particular a panic attack. You got an anonymous call that night on your phone after you were at home again, no one said a word but deep inside you knew who it was.   
You threw your phone from the bedroom window to the street 3 floors down after it.   
  
As the time passed, the pain became something you were used to, your music reflected it and your own self reflected it. You and Nick finally had the material you needed and were moving to Europe to meet the producers interested on your music. You didn’t know how much time you were supposed to be there, but nothing was holding you back here anyways. Actually, it was quite better for everyone to stay away.   
  
  
  
  
(now we have quite a big time lapse here, I know, I know, just stay with me here okay?)  
  
  
  
“Hey, are you nervous?” Nicki jumped on your side on the airport. You were going back to the US for the first time in 3 years, of course you were nervous. Your new band now had quite a name, and you were focusing on US.  
  
“I’m also glad to come back…” you said, looking to the stuff being sent to the airplane.   
  
“You know we’re playing in LA, right?” her voice was full of small touches, you knew where she was going with it.   
“Yes, Penny is coming. I miss her” Still, you tried to ignore her subtle concern. Even after 3 years you would still cry some nights, specially because the majority of your new songs were about Spencer.   
  
“Are you gonna be okay?” Nicki was truly concerned, and you were truly thankful for it but there were some things only you could do.  
  
“I’m fine, Nicks, don’t worry” she smiled softly before squeezing your hand, soon you had to go to the airplane and sleep all the countless hours back home.  
  
  
  
**SPENCER’S POV**  
  
  
Three years, three years since the day I left my reason to smile, my heart got ripped out of my chest, three years. Does she still remember me? Is she angry? She indeed sounds angry in some of her songs, and hurt. Is it about me?  
These questions pass through my mind everyday, I was happy her career was going so well, that was what she deserved. The prizes, the concerts. I was following for far away, it was kinda funny actually to hear people around you obsessed with your ex-girlfriend…ex-girlfriend… she was my love, she is my love. All this time I couldn’t find someone who can compare to her, I don’t even want to… I wonder if she is with someone, she is so beautiful now, so different, but still the same spark on her eyes, the same big smile… God, I miss her everyday. I miss waking up to her sleepy face, I miss her laugh, I miss her eyes, I miss her body and the way it fits perfectly with mine.  


  
“So, are you going to the concert?” Garcia woke me up from my thoughts as she walked back to our table on a coffee shop, she was in town for some days, she said it was for work but obviously she wanted to see her friend. She said social media is not the same, the Tech Goddess herself bashing social media, go figure.  
  
“I don’t know if I should…” I want to, badly.  
  
“Oh boy I know she probably don’t wanna see you covered in glitter and gold in front of her… all those lyrics? She had a point, tough…” Thanks Penelope “but if you want to go, I mean, it is a public place…” Penelope took a sip of her coffee and put two tickets on the table, smiling at me “C’mon you two are my all time favorite couple, pleaseeee?” I agreed, Penelope still had this crazy fairytale dream that me and (Y/N) would end up together… Well, at least I’m not the only pathetic one. I agreed with her, receiving a hug from over the table.   
  
  
The concert was on the next day, it was sold out, me and Penelope stood on an reserved area she said she got with (Y/N), that means they talked, that means she probably knows I’m here. If she didn’t say anything she is not that mad, is she? Nervousness was eating up my bones as we waited for the show, the lights down, the screaming kids, my head was about to explode.   
  
  
**END OF SPENCER’S POV**  
  


  
“It’s good to be back home” Nicki stretched her legs as we got out of the plane, our concert was on the next day and there was so many things on your mind right now you could pass out.   
  
On the way to the hotel, Penny send you a message about going to the concert. If she was going Reid as going obviously.   
  
“Is it okay if Spencer goes too?” she asked, afraid, I hummed agreeing, we were talking now.  
  
“It’s not like I can control him…My opinion never matter that much” you said, bitter on your words.  
  
“Don’t say that, I don’t know why he did what he did but ugh, you two!” she whined, making you scoff a laugh. You missed your friend.   
  
“I have someone to introduce you to” you bit your lip, nervous, looking at the person on your side  
  
“Someone? Are you with someone?” she asked, curious and kinda afraid  
  
“It’s complicated… we talk tomorrow after the show okay Penny? It’s very complicated…” she agreed, saying her goodbyes. We were soon on the hotel and you could finally take a shower and try to forget what you were about to face tomorrow.  
  
  
  
  
The place was crowded. Good thing you couldn’t see the people because of the lights, you only hear them calling. One last check with the band and Nick and the first notes of you guitar started playing, you jumping around the stage. The stage was your sacred place, no one could hurt you when you were up there, or so you thought…  
After the first two songs the lights were dimmed, letting you see the faces near you, butterflies you didn’t even know existed hit your stomach when you saw that angelical face. He cut his hair, it was shorter but framing his face. He looked tired, big dark circles around his eyes and he was so skinny… the tears were fast to creep up on your eyes as you sang your song, ironically, a song you wrote about him leaving you. Nicki noticed as she walked to your side playing her bass guitar, but you only nodded that you were alright, keeping your song and gathering the strength to look at Spencer right in the eyes as you sang the lyrics about the night he left you. Tears went down your face when you saw he was crying, before you could even notice you were closer to him and Penny, it took Nicki to bring you out of your memories and go back full stage persona.   
  
  
Now all the songs you knew exactly where he was, your eyes, your mind would drive you exactly to his eyes. A concert never took so long to be over.   
  
  
“Are you alright? You wanna cancel the meet and greet?” Our manager, Jimmy, asked as we went back to the dressing room after we shower and changed our clothing. I smiled indicating it was alright “by the way, your friend Penelope is here” his words made my heart froze again, I knew Penny wasn’t alone, and worst, I knew who they meet before me on the dressing room.   
  
I opened the door, breathing deeply only to be received by confusing eyes  
  
“Hi guys” did my voice even made an actual sound?  
  
“(Y/N)… we… nice show!!! Amazing” Penny said, biting her lip, I look to my left side, to the candy table, I knew what was coming  
  
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Spencer voice was hurt… him?? Hurt? It made me want to laugh  
  
“You walked away…” my reply was as hurt and formal as it could be  
  
“It is completely different (Y/N)...” Spencer’s words were interrupted by me being crushed on a hug and kisses  
  
  
“Matthew!! Hi baby!! Did you have fun with uncle Jimmy??” you hugged back the little kid, your son. There was no point on hiding anymore.  
  
  
  
  



	13. Coffee & Candy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When your truth came up to everybody, how will you deal? Also, being alone with Spencer after all this time and unsolved questions, could you ever be a family?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, slowly but surely, i'm getting back on track. Please tell me what you're thinking about it  
> Did the dialogues are too confusing?  
> Also, let's take a moment to love Penelope, shall we?
> 
>  
> 
> Love you <3

You picked up your kid on your lap, listening to him talking about his day with Jimmy, your manager also kindly took care of him while you were on the stage.  
“… and uncle Jimmy took me to get ice cream before dinner!” the little kid was so excited you could easily see the sugar on his bloodstream, you wanted to bite off that little cheeks.  
  
Your baby looked so much like his father it was honestly ridiculous, the hair, the face, everything on him screamed Spencer. At first it was painful to you, looking at that little life and remembering, but after a while you got in terms with it. Spencer gave you the best gif someone could possibly give.  
  
“Okay baby, now mommy wants you to meet two people, ‘kay?” he shook his head, his longish hair falling on his face. “This is auntie Penny, mom loves her very much and you have to be a nice boy around her” you smiled, introducing the kid to your friend, who was in shock, to say the least, but had a loving expression on her face.  
  
“Hi, handsome” Penny smiled, hugging the kid “What is your name?”  
  
“Matthew, very nice to meet you” Penny smiled at his words, looking at both you and Reid who wouldn’t keep his eyes of the kid  
  
“Well, nice to meet you too, little gentleman. Now, this is Spencer, I have a feeling you guys are gonna be great friends” Penelope said, indicating the man on her side and looking at you for a second, waiting for your response. You didn’t say anything. Spencer was his father, after all, he had all the right in the world to meet the kid, you knew it.  
  
“Hey buddy” Spencer kneeled down on the floor, facing the kid, it seems like your eyes wouldn’t stay dry for long as Spencer pulled your son to a hug, holding him close for a little.  
  
“Mommy, can I go play?” Matthew looked at you when Spencer released him of the hug, trying to hide some tears, you smiled down, agreeing  
  
“Sure baby, mom has some stuff to do but we’re going home soon” you pulled him into a hug again, kissing his face ”Mommy loves you very much, okay?” the kid laughed as you put him on the floor again  
  
“I love you, silly mommy” and run towards Nick, who now watched everything from distance.  
  
  
“Hi Penny” you now went hug your friend, “I missed you”  
  
“I missed you too, you look awesome” she smiled looking up and down at you, who blushed.  
  
Now you were left to face Reid. your heart beat so loud everyone could probably hear it. He was looking at you with a mix of confusion, hurt, anger and… love? Care? On his eyes.  
  
“He’s a lovely kid” Spencer said looking into your eyes.  
  
“He is amazing, thank you… so, how are you, Reid?” you kept your eyes on his, your throat burning holding back the tears.  
  
“Surprised… I believe you have something to tell me?” his irony was visible, the hurt in his eyes  
  
  
“Not here Spencer, it’s complicated…” you _really_ didn’t want to deal with this right now  
  
“He is my son, isn’t he?” Spencer aggressiveness was hidden under whispers, he got closer to you now, holding your elbow.  
  
“Spencer, please…” you knew you had to talk to him, you just didn’t know how. Your eyes met again and you stood there in silence, the grip on your arm getting softer.  
  
“Why didn’t you tell me?” a tear fell down his cheek and you control yourself not to hold him, comfort him in your arms  
  
“You went away…” you bit your lip as the words came out of your mouth, Spencer turned his back to you, walking a few steps away before coming back on a rush, stopping inches from your face.  
  
“I did… for you. All this time, all I did, it was for you. You just didn’t see it” his whispers were aggressive, it was a side of Spencer you were not sure you had seen before, but then again, three years can change a person completely. “You just can’t see, can you?”  
  
“What are you talking about? You saw Jimmy looking at both of you, with a body guard on his side, of course he was worried by the way Spencer held you, he didn’t know your story. Not this part, at least.  
  
You were interrupted by a girl entering the room, a girl you didn’t know but she came straight to you and Spencer.  
  
“Oh there you are honey, why you keep me waiting outside so much?” the woman smiled at Spencer and looked up and down at you, she was as tall as him, very LA type of girl, nothing like you “Hi, I’m Amber, Spencer’s girlfriend Nice concert”  
  
“Thank you, I’m (Y/N)” you offered your hand to the girl, who just looked at it, making you feel extremely self conscious. _Girlfriend?_ Sure he had followed with his life and all but you just… you just never thought you’d have to face it. “If you don’t mind guys, the band and I, we have stuff to do so… talk to you later?” Spencer agreed, his eyes looked sad, but why would he be sad? He had a gorgeous, model-like girlfriend, a perfect life in LA… why would he look so sad?  
  
You walked towards your band, meeting Penelope, who now had Matthew with her, playing.  
  
“He is adorable, why you didn’t tell me??” She smiled at you.  
  
“Penny, we have to agree it’s … not the best place for us to talk about it” you smiled nervous, indicating Spencer and the girl.  
  
“Oh, that little viper is here… I don’t like her you know?” you rolled your eyes, of course Penelope didn’t like her, Penelope always wanted Spencer and you to get back together and now that she knows about your kid you bet your life she had a wedding on her mind already.  
  
“I’m glad Spencer is happy” you sit down besides your friend, taking a bottle of water.  
  
“He’s seeing a therapist 3 times a week and taking meds for depression… if you call this happy” she whined, you could see Spencer kept an eye on both of you even though the girl on his side seemed to be talking to him  
  
“He has a beautiful girlfriend…” she was gorgeous, you give her that.  
  
“You two have a son” Penny replied, making you scoff at her  
  
“Shut up, Penelope”  
  
“Mommy… Auntie Penny said that guy is my daddy…” your eyes grew the size of two basketballs when your kid said those words out loud, thankfully, the room was full enough for apparently no one to pay attention.  
  
“Did she now?” you replied, taking Matthew on your arms, he agreed “Look little lion man, mommy have to talk to you okay? It’s a long story and we have to be alone so, let’s go?” you smiled and he agreed, hugging you as you stood up saying your goodbyes to everybody.  
  
“Do you need a driver?” Jimmy, always considerate, offered seeing you’d go to the hotel before the rest of them  
  
“Nah I got her” Penelope said, and Jimmy agreed seeing you shrugged your shoulders. “Oi, pretty boy, let’s go!” _What?_ Penelope smiled devilish at you, how could you fall for her plans again?

  
“Penny stop, no!”  
  
“Shut up, I got you” she said between teeth as Spencer and Amber said goodbye to the others  
  
“Are you alright” Nick run towards you who agreed “Text me if you need something okay? We talk tomorrow” she hugged you, biting Matthew cheeks and making him laugh next. Now Spencer was by your side.  
  
“You really don’t have to, Spencer, I can get a taxi and I’ll be in the hotel in minutes” you couldn’t even look at him in your embarrassment from Penny’s act.  
  
“It’s okay” his voice sounded so soft it almost made you smile, remembering the days you shared, the way he would melt your worried away, you looked up at him and he had a smile disguised on his face, you couldn’t help but smile as well.  
  
“MOMMY LOOK!! It’s like yours!” Matthew now was pointing at Spencer’s tattoo, the tattoo you did together, he smiled at the kid and Amber looked confused at both of you. She didn’t know. You just started walking because otherwise you’re die from embarrassment or something  
  
  
**SPENCER’S POV**  
  
  
A kid. Me and (Y/N) had a kid. The information hit me like a bullet on my brain, it was just too much. I looked at him seeing him running around and playing on the dressing room, it made me smile. It made me feel something I was not sure what it was but I liked it.  
And Matthew was such a lovely kid, he remind me a lot of Henry too, I bet he and Henry would be friends…  
  
I totally forgot Amber was there until the moment she entered the room, making (Y/N) get away from me. Now, Amber and I weren’t a serious thing, I knew it, she knew it, still the moment she saw me talking to (Y/N) she turned into this protective hound I’ve never seen before and I sure didn’t like it. She could never, ever, on a thousand life times, compare herself to (Y/N). My mind wandered around, watching her and Matthew until Garcia woke me up, calling me to go.  
  
Apparently, (Y/N) and Matthew needed a ride to their hotel, or better saying, Garcia wanted us to give them a ride.  
  
“You can thank me later, pretty boy” she said, passing by me as we walked out of the rooms to the parking lot, making me hide a laugh. Of course she had a plan.  
  
“So, who goes first?” Garcia asked, as I turned the car out of the parking lot “Amber you live around don’t you?” she looked to the backseat, dead in the eye to the hacker.  
  
“I do, but I’m going to Spencer’s tonight, aren’t I darling?” I really hope you don’t  
  
“Actually Amber, we have to be up very early tomorrow for an investigation, it’d be best if you just went home” she looked at me in silent for a second, I could see Penelope smiling through the rear mirror, oh damn, I was in trouble.  
  
“Whatever, I’ll get a taxi, have fun with your friends” suddenly Amber open up the car door at the red traffic light, I tried to stop her, reaching my hand. “Do not touch me, Reid” and she hit the door again, walking away.  
  
“Uhh… fierce” (Y/N) held a laugh, making me roll my eyes at her “sorry, love” her words made me turn myself to look at her, who now bit her lip, looking at me. Penelope had a full smile on her face now. Of course she did.  
  
The way to the Hotel (Y/N) was staying was quiet, she was mumbling the songs on the radio, our son on her lap. When we finally arrived there, Matthew was already asleep.  
  
“Do you need help to get him to the bed?” Penelope asked her, seeing she was trying not to wake the kid.  
  
“Oh it would be great, thanks Penny. And thanks Spencer…” she looked at me, talking about the ride, of course.  
  
“No problem, I’ll wait here. Go Spencer” me? What? I looked at Penelope on the backseat and at (Y/N) outside the car with her stuff and the kid’s stuff “What? It’s your child, go help her, be a father, these kinda things” _I’ll kill Penelope someday I swear._ She just smiled at me when I parked the car and got out to help.  
  
“Don’t worry you can go home, you have a full day tomorrow right?” (Y/N) smiled shy at me, trying to carry all the stuff and Matthew, I shrugged.  
  
“No problem about it, I just said that to Amber” she stopped for a second before walking again, but I could swear there was a smile on her face?  
  
We got to the room and (Y/N) put Matthew to bed, covering him in blankets and kissing him goodnight, he didn’t even opened his eyes and she looked at me, pointing the door to the outside.  
“Thanks for everything, really, you didn’t have to…” she said, closing the door behind her and looking into my eyes.  
  
“It’s not a problem, he’s my kid too, I want to spent time with him… I mean, I don’t know anything about him and he is my son…” I definitely don’t want to be like my father…  
  
“Spencer, please… we need to talk about this, you have Amber and your life…”  
  
“I still love you” the words came out of my mouth so fast I couldn’t even comprehend what I said until I saw her face.  
  
“Don’t…” i just couldn’t hold myself anymore, she was so close… so I kissed her. Touching her lips again after so much time felt like water in the middle of the desert, they held my life, she would always be my life, my salvation.  
She didn’t respond my kiss at first but then her hands found the back of my neck, running her nails on my skin and making me moan into the kiss. Oh God, I missed her.  
  
“Don’t say you don’t feel anything” I breathed, my forehead leaning against hers, lips still almost touching.  
  
“This is wrong” her eyes were still closed and I held tighter on her waist “Spencer you have a girlfriend this is wrong”  
  
“You’ll always be my love” I breathed out and she opened her eyes, facing me. “And we have Matthew now, we… does he know?” she denied, biting her lip  
  
“You should go, Spencer. You can come back tomorrow or when you have sometime to spend with Matt, I’m moving to L.A. so we gonna stick around for a while…” (Y/N) straighten up her posture, avoiding my eyes “Penelope has my number, you can call me tomorrow okay? Goodnight Spencer, thank you again.” A quick hug and she opened the door, getting into the room before I could say anything else, with her taste on my lips.  
  
  
  
  
  
“Did you at least kiss her?” Penelope said as I entered my car again, I faced her in silence “You’re welcome”  
  
  
  
  
**END OF SPENCER’S POV**  
  
  
  
  
  
You entered back your room, your heart on your throat, you knew if you stayed too close of Spencer for too long you’d do something stupid, like what you just did… one of your hands when to your lips and you noticed you were smiling.  
  
  
  
_He still tastes like coffee and candy._  
  
  
  
  



	14. Family Portrait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the truth about Spencer being your son's father is now revealed, and family moments are something you gotta get used to.  
> but how?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!   
> I know this chapter will sound like a filler or something but like i said before, just keep up with me we're getting stuff here (and i don't really like mixing a lot of moments on the same chapter)
> 
> I hope you enjoy it <3

  
You woke up to Matthew jumping around on your bed, calling you. You had barely gotten any sleep thinking about Spencer and everything that happened, you had to tell your son who was his father.  
  
“Mommy, get up, there’s someone in the door” you growled pushing your kid down again, making him laugh at you while you got up, it was probably just Nick or Jimmy or someone from the band anyway.  
  
“Hey…” you had to rub your eyes in order to believe there was Spencer in front of you. It would take some time to get used to him again “I’m sorry I didn’t think you’d be sleeping…” he bit his lip, looking up and down at you, making you feel self conscious and bracing yourself.  
  
“No problems, Spencer… what can I do for you?” you felt someone hug your legs and saw Matt behind you, smiling widely at Spencer. Of course he liked his father… Oh Heavens…  
  
“I was thinking that maybe we could have breakfast together?” he smiled down at Matt “what do you say buddy?” Matthew smiled widely and Spencer picked him up “Do you like waffles?” Matt agreed, looking at you who was honestly tearing up a bit inside from the scene.  
  
“Can I have waffles, mommy?” you smile, agreeing and opening the door for Spencer.   
  
“Mommy’s just gonna change, and you too, little Sir, then we’re good to go” Spencer smiled at you as you passed him, going to your closet, you saw he put Matt down and came talk to you.  
  
“I tried to call you…” Spencer stood awkwardly from one feet to another on the door.  
  
“Clearly, you don’t remember me sleeping” you joked, making him chuckle.  
  
“I wish I didn’t remember everything about you” he muttered, almost to himself, but you choose to ignore the comment, feeling your body shiver.  
  
“I thought you said there was a busy day at work?” you finally picked up a T-shirt and pants to go, walking pass Spencer again to reach Matthew’s clothes.  
  
“Nah, I asked for a few days off…” you widened your eyes to him, _what was he talking about?_ “I want to spend time with Matthew and you…”  
  
“Spencer, I don’t think…” you started to reason with him but you knew he was right and you had so much work to do these days a hand with Matthew would be good. “Okay, let’s talk to him on the breakfast…I hope the kid does not freak out, God knows he got his father’s brains…” you finished gathering the clothing and looked at Reid, who was smiling stupidly at you…  
  
“He…” you rolled your eyes, two genius in one life time, why?  
  
“The doctors said he most likely is a genius yes, he can read and play piano by intuition for fuck’s sake…” _and don’t you say it’s easy, Reid_ “He’s gonna outsmart you someday you know? I know he got me already…” as you walked out of the closet you felt arms around you, pulling you again. Your back hit Reid’s chest and he hugged your waist from behind, nuzzling against your hair and neck, making you freeze “What are you doing?”  
  
“Thank you” that’s all he said, kissing the skin of your neck softly. You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath before turning to face him, his arms still around you. “You gave me the best gifts in life, you gave me love and you gave me a beautiful child…” you could see Spencer’s eyes starting to tear up a little and you knew you had to get away from him, your heart pounding so strong in your chest you were sure he could listen.  
  
  
“Matt, let’s go get changed, come here…” you said, suddenly getting away from the Doctor to get your son and walk with him to the bathroom.  
  
As soon as you closed the door behind you and you sit to help your kid change his pajamas he looked into your eyes. Damn his pretty little eyes, they were just like Spencer’s…  
  
“Mommy, why Daddy was never home before?” the shock in your face was easy visible, apparently, Matthew didn’t forget the fact his Aunt Penelope told him about Spencer…  
  
“Baby, it’s really grown up stuff, complicated…One day maybe you’ll understand okay?” he agreed nodding his head and making his longish hair wave around, you kissed the top of his head as you helped with the T-shirt “Do you like Spencer?” the kid shrugged, looking at you again  
  
“He is funny…Can I show him my telescope?” your kid has this love for planets that you just couldn’t understand, but find it very lovely. Also the fact that he adored Doctor Who…just like his father.  
  
“He’s gonna love it” you smiled at him, biting his cheek and making the kid whine.  
  
  
  
  
**SPENCER’S POV  
**  
  
  
  
“Hey Matt, do you like magic tricks?” I asked seeing the little kid stopped in front of me, looking me with some curiosity in the eye.  
  
“Can I call you Dad?” the question made me gasp, looking at him “Mom said it’s true what Auntie Penelope said about you being my Daddy, can I call you Dad?” so… he knew? He took it better than expected…  
  
“Yes, you can” his big smile was everything, and just like (Y/N)’s it could light up my entire world.  
  
“Are you going to live with me and mom now, dad?” now I couldn’t contain my giggle, I guess the doctors were right about his brains, or at least his smartness…I kneeled down in front of him, indicating for him to come closer on a secret kinda motion.   
  
“I am trying to make your mom like me again so we can all be together, would you help me?” Matt’s eyes sparkled on that child innocent way and he clapped his little hands, agreeing with me “It’s out secret okay?” he agreed again, taking my pinky finger with his own, on our secret agreement, I hugged him again after it, the strongest I could.  
  
“Now now, what are my boys up to?” _your boys?_ I guess (Y/N) didn’t realize what she had just said as she walked out of the bathroom, on a simple band t-shirt and black ripped pants. She looked just like when we met, but somehow, still prettier, glowing.  
  
“I was gonna ask dad if he wants to watch the planets with me” Matt responded, looking at me with a smirk on his little face.  
  
“Oh, yes, I would love to, buddy. Let’s do this!” we hi-fived each other as (Y/N) got her shoes and sunglasses, indicating she was ready.  
  
“Okay, but after we eat breakfast Matthew, let’s go…” she stood by the door and the kid run towards his mother, it was like a scene from a dream.  
  
“Wafflesssss!!!” Matt jumped around on the hotel hall as we walked to the restaurant, (Y/N) by my side, carefully watching him.  
  
“He took it better than expected” I said as Nick met Matthew and hold him a little, waving at us.  
  
“He is a precious child” _I know_. (Y/N) eyes locked at mine for a second, making me feel my blood pump in my veins again “I am sorry about not telling you about him, it was just… so much happened and I was so scared” she faced the floor and I lifted her chin with one hand, making her eyes meet mine again, those eyes were the light of my life.   
  
“I wish we could erase mistakes” she nodded with a sad smile.  
  
“That we can’t, but we have a future” _do we?_ I questioned her with my eyes only to see her looking at Matthew again.  
  
“MOM, DAD, I AM HUNGRYYY” Nick stood in shock at the kid’s phrase, looking confused at us while approaching.  
  
“Don’t worry, he knows… I’m gonna just tell everybody” (Y/N) explained as I greeted the girl with a smile, who replied the gesture  
  
“Let’s get waffles then!!!” she smiled at the kid, putting him down and walking-racing with him to the breakfast buffet.   
  
  
“What??” (Y/N) laughed and I realized I was staring at her while she helped our son with the food. I just shook my head, making her ignore it, I was so immerse on my dreams and how perfect that little scene was no words could possibly explain it “Spencer…”  
  
“Yes?” her eyes were now on mine, Matt was happily eating his food and she was looking straight at me.  
  
“Where are you? I asked if the coffee is good…” _I’m in Heaven_ “I don’t know if I can still get your coffee order right” she giggled. Again, I was hypnotized.  
  
“It’s perfect, thanks.” It was, exactly like I love it. My favorite type of coffee too. I swear she blushed a little when I touched her hand over the table.   
  
“How you gonna tell your girlfriend about Matt?” her smile suddenly died a little as I faced my coffee again. Why couldn’t I live on this never ending state of dreams with her and Matthew without the rest of the world?  
  
“I told you she is not my girlfriend, (Y/N)…” her eyes were narrowed at me now  
  
“Does she know that? She seemed pretty girlfriend-ly with you” I had to hold a laugh at her expression now, taking a sip of her coffee and rolling her eyes  
  
“Are you jealous?” her bitch face dead in the eyes said everything, she was. Something inside me was now fluttering and making me feel funny but we were interrupted by someone calling her near the door.   
  
“I’ll be right back, keep an eye on Matt for me yes?” I agreed, still with a smirk on my face while she run to meet the other people  
  
  
  
**END OF SPENCER’S POV**  
  
  
  
  
“(Y/N) don’t forget we have to go for the locations of the music video today… I see you’re with your friend from last night” _really Jimmy?_ you rolled your eyes to the manager  
  
“Jimmy, he’s indeed a friend, he’s Matthew’s father. That’s all. Okay, I’ll meet you guys in a bit” Jimmy’s surprise face was probably one of the funniest things you’d ever seen. The guy was in shock  
  
“He’s what?” you scoffed a laugh and run back to your coffee table again, leaving a very much in shock manager there. He had to know anyways.  
  
  
“Baby, mom has to work today okay?” you said, sitting again besides your son, feeling Reid’s eyes on you.   
  
“You always have to work…” the kid whined and you pouted, mimicking his gesture.  
  
“I can be with him…” Spencer suggestion made you look at him again, really? “I said I have nothing planned, I can help… Do you want to spend time with me, little man?” he smiled at his son, a mischievous smile , but it was funny.  
  
“Can daddy go with us???” Matt asked over excited looking at you and his father, you end up agreeing and saw the kid and Spencer hi-five each other.   
  
“Okay but behave, BOTH OF YOU” you truly meant it, Spencer was a kid at heart and you knew It too well. You were attacked by kisses and hugs from both of them, making you giggle as Spencer tickled you and you hugged him, not really thinking about what you were doing.  
  
  
  



	15. Just another stupid british blonde bimbo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the many conflicted feels, grab a tissue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry i disappeared for so long, I've been through a serious writer's block and my proofreader aka the one who inspires me to write was busy so I just gave it some time. I do not plan to go away anymore, I am truly sorry. 
> 
> Also, I'm not sure if i still get this writing vibe correctly, I hope it's somewhat good. Also, I was crying at the end of this so it's a warning. 
> 
> Now let's give the name faces:
> 
> \- the character Jax is obviously based on Jax Teller because I love myself some Sons of Anarchy (also yeah, Charlie Hunnam is perfect), I know i mention about being british and actor and stuff but the only thing apart from that the character holds from Charlie is the looks. I don't write real ppl. Think Jax Teller  
> (the pretty guy on the gif)

  
“I’ve got a surprise for you, (Y/N)” Jimmy said, trying to hide a smile from his face. You knew Jimmy’s surprises pretty well to be scared about it, actually.  
  
“Okay…” Spencer was as lost as you when you both got out of the van to the place where the music video would take place.  
  
“You’re welcome” Jimmy said again and now you were officially lost, welcome for what? You didn’t have time to ask your manager what he was actually talking about. A motorcycle got your eye, parked near the van. Most precisely, the person sitting on it caught your eye, and your biggest smile.  
  
“JAXXIE” all you felt was strong arms holding you and a delicious laugh you missed so much when you threw yourself at the man, leaving kisses over his bearded face “I can’t believe you’re here, how? Jimmy? How did you… Weren’t you in London?” now Jax had picked your son up and was tickling him.  
  
“Jimmy boy asked me to come around for you, and you know I can’t say no to you, my queen” you felt yourself blush at his words holding his hand that was now on your shoulder, on a protective hug, you just snuggled better into his chest, feeling his heartbeat on your back.  
  
“We needed and actor for the video, our boy here is an actor, you two are …whatever you are. I figured why not?” you muttered a ‘Thank You’ to your manager, who now walked into the house you were about to film in  
  
  
“And how are you doing champ?” Jax now asked to Matthew, kneeling down to him.  
  
“I am fine, uncle Jax, thanks! Did you know I meet my dad?” As Matthew said these words, the man looked at you and then back at Matthew  
  
“Really? I want to meet your dad too, champ. Can I?” Matthew agreed and pointed out for Reid. Jax looked up at him and stood up before the doctor offered him a handshake.  
  
“Jaxxie, this is Spencer Reid. Spencer, this is Jax, he’s a good friend from England, we met just after I moved, Jimmy is his manager as well” you could cut the testosterone tension between them with a knife, boys.  
  
“Glad to finally meet the nerd” Jax was quite bigger than Reid, not as much in height but muscular, but he was very calm in general, so you kinda relaxed when you saw his smirk  
  
“J boy!!” Nick now run towards the man, Spencer still had his eyes pierced on him while your friends were talking.  
  
You were never happier than the moment Jimmy called you inside.  
  
  
  
**SPENCER’S POV**  
  
  
Of course I was jealous, seeing that guy hugging (Y/N) and my son, my son. Our son. Who is he anyway?  
  
“Garcia, do you know any one of (Y/N) friends named Jax? A British guy, I guess” I called Penelope as soon as I was alone, she should know, she knows everything.  
“I what? I… Spencer, I was sleeping what is it?” _c’mon Garcia we all know you don’t sleep. Help me here._  
  
“A guy, some blonde bimbo named Jax , all over (Y/N), even my son calls him ‘uncle’” the words left my mouth with a bitter taste, I could hear (Y/N) laugh from inside the house, her laugh and not with me.  
  
“Wait, Jax THE LORD MCDREAMY Jax?” Lor-what?  
  
“I don’t know Penelope, all I know is his name and (Y/N) knows him from London” I could feel a headache coming as I closed my eyes “They seem very…friendly. Too friendly”

“Ohh pretty boy is jealous, that’s so cute” Was she mocking me? She was mocking me…  
  
“I’m not… I just don’t like him okay? Guy drives a motorcycle, it’s dangerous.” Garcia mumbled an ‘hmm’ on the other side  
  
“(Y/N) used to have a bike,you know that” Yes, Penelope, I do. “Okay where are you guys I’m crashing this party and meeting my future husband” _your what? Garcia focus here  
_  
“I’ll send you the address. Please help me here” _Do I sound desperate?_  
  
As soon as I turn off the phone I went into the house, I am not leaving my child with that person. Did (Y/N) know he smelled like cigarettes?  
  
  
“So, you’re Matthew’s father?” of course he was the first I ran into when I entered the living room, he was actually walking outside, with a cigarette. _Ha, told you._ I agreed with a head nod and he pointed the porch just outside. Am I supposed to go with this overgrown baboon?  
  
“Did you know even being on an environment with a smoker can be risky to a person’s health? Especially a child?” I made the comment as he drag from the cancer stick and had the impression he scoffed a laugh, not even bothering himself to look at me.  
  
“Did you know that not having a father is way more risky to a child’s well being than having someone who smokes around them?” _He did not_ “Look, fella, you just came around. I know you’re Matthew’s father and you and (Y/N) have history and it’s quite obvious you’re gonna be part of their lives but you don’t just come around after all this time thinking you can hand the cards here. Matthew is my godson and heaven knows how much I love those two, so yeah, fuckboy, mess it up and you’re done. I don’t care if you are FBI or CIA or the bloody Scotland Yard, you are going down.”  
  
“You do know that threatening a federal agent is a felony right?” again, he scoffed a laugh in my face.  
  
“Is everything okay?” (Y/N) voice came from the door, her eyes looked worried, that guy smiled at her, agreeing, making her smile too “Spencer?”  
  
“it’s alright (Y/N)” I smiled as well, seeing her face bright up for me.  
  
“ Jimmy needs us to talk about the video” the blonde agreed tossing that disgusting smoke away. “I’ll be there in a minute” just when I heard this words I noticed (Y/N) was standing behind me, making me turn around to face her.  
  
“Is Matt inside? You need me to look after him or something?” I quickly asked, trying not to look into her worried eyes.  
  
“Spencer, look.” Her hands now found my face and she made me look straight into her eyes, biting her lip “I know Jax can be difficult, and I can imagine part of the threats he made you, but he is a nice person I swear. He is just… worried about me. He is very protective” the softness on her eyes when she spoke of him killed me a little inside “Are you really alright? You don’t have to do this, we can schedule visits so you can spend time with Matt and –“  
  
“You two… you have something, right? Why didn’t you tell me?” it was pretty damn obvious, actually.  
  
“We don’t… it’s not like we’re….You’ve got Amber” she fired back, letting go of my face. “Listen, I just wanted to warn you that maybe you don’t want to be here on the shootings, it’s an intense video, there’s …certain scenes that I don’t know if you’d be comfortable with. It’s the first ones we’re filming so I thought maybe you could take Matt for a fun day or something…”  
  
“Are you gonna film sex scenes with that guy?” _is that what you’re telling me?_  
  
“Okay, nevermind, Jimmy can look after Matt, I just thought you’d like to spend some time with him” she said looking at the floor and muttered “why do I even care?” walking into the house again. I mentally punched myself in the guts  
  
  
**END OF SPENCER’S POV**  
  
  
You walked into the living room again, tossing yourself on the couch by Jax’s side, his arm quickly went around you pulling you closer while the director and the rest of the production crew explained everything. Clearly, you were trying your hardest to take your mind out of Reid, those brown eyes would always have an effect on you.  
  
“You remember that time in Manchester when we got stoned and went to a karaoke to sing 80’s songs?” Jax whispered at my earlobe, making you smile. Of course you remembered, it was the first night out after Matt was born and you could actually do something.  
  
“I probably still am hangover from that” his chest rumble on your back, on a small laugh.  
  
“We could do that again” _what are you suggesting?_ You looked at him with a raised eyebrow “Nick could be with Matt, we could go out and have fun me and you", his fingers now ghosted up and down your arm, and you were almost giggling like a teen. You adored the guy and how he always made you smile. Your little happy moment was interrupted when you heard the door open with a loud sound and Spencer was not in the room anymore. _Great_. Jax tried to stop you from getting up and going after the doctor, but you managed to set yourself free from his hands, going outside again.  
  
  
“This is getting ridiculous Spencer” you breathed out, noticing he was a couple of steps away  
  
“You and your boyfriend are getting ridiculous” _of course that’s the problem_  
  
“Okay, you know what? I think it’s better for you to go away, Reid, I call you about seeing Matt…” this was way too much drama for nothing.  
  
“I am not leaving you and my son here with that….that… person!” he crossed his arms looking at you, serious face.  
  
“Well, you did leave once when I needed you the most, it shouldn’t be so difficult now” before you could understand what you did the words have left your mouth, making Spencer’s eyes water. The pain and resentment you still had was now clear, you couldn’t face him. “Just go away Spencer” your eyes were closed, trying to stop tears from falling when you felt the his arms holding you on a tight hug.  
  
Spencer was crying too. All you could do now was hug him back, waiting for the moment of pain to pass through you. Those moments I hadn’t met in so long, now it all came back with him.  
  
“I told you I would never love someone as I love you, and I meant it” his words were whispers to you, your eyes still closed “You have no idea how hurt I was…” that was it, you got out of his arms to face him. _He was hurt?_  
  
“You don’t… you have no right to tell me you were hurt, you have no right to blame me for this. You walked away, YOU LEFT ME. I did everything for you, Reid, I gave you my entire life and you walked away for a fucking promotion” you always feared this moment, the moment you’d let it all out.  
  
“I left because you deserved better” he replied making you cringe “I knew about the contract in Europe, I knew you would say no. The only way to make you go was if I disappeared”  
  
“I knew I was pregnant when you left” it was barely a whisper letting your throat, making him face you in shock “the last time we saw each other, I had just got tested. I knew”  
  
“Why didn’t you tell me?” again he was millimeters away from me, again, the tears got the best of me.  
  
“I wouldn’t be the one to hold you down” his hand went to the back of my neck and he pulled me against his chest, letting both of us cry. “Gosh Spencer you are so stupid!” you intention was hit his chest to let all the frustration out, all you did was hold stronger onto him.  
  
“I am, I am stupid, and stubborn, and everything else. And I love you more than anything, I always will” you froze at his words on your ear, it felt so good but also scary. “We can make this right, me, you, our kid. We can make this right, please (Y/N)” his breathes were heavier, his tears hitting you and fuelling your own. It took you all strength you could gather to look at him in the eyes, now bloodshot.  
  
“You still so precious, Spencer, so beautiful” your hand went to his cheek, cupping it carefully and stroking your thumb against his cheek. Spencer closed his eyes and lean into your touch, kissing your palm. “But it’s just so many wrongs… so much pain. Maybe in another lifetime we would make this right…” Spencer opened his eyes, holding your hand still on his face.  
  
“Don’t give up on me, on us. Please, (Y/N), don’t” you had to smile again, a painful smile, but still, a smile. You heard Jax calling you from the door.  
  
“Be sure I will always love you, Spencer Reid” as the words left your lips, you lean over to him, kissing his cheek where you hand used to lie before walking back to the other guy.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	16. Roofies and truthies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> brace yourselves, more feels  
> this chapter is almost a full Specer's POV, i couldn't do it any other way  
> I personally think it's lovely
> 
>  
> 
> A/N:
> 
> Roofies: sleeping pills/drugs, reader's reaction to it is based on my own reaction. I used to take Rohypnol daily for almost a year (it was prescribed, don't do drugs without medical advise kids - don't live like this author *cof cof*) and I really get stoned stupid with it (okay, maybe i used once or twice for fun....maaaybe)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i highly recommend listening to Rihanna's "Stay", I wrote the biggest FEELS part listening to it.
> 
> actually, 30 seconds to mars' version because fav band.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yhj2vYgMjk
> 
> I was thinking about making a Spotify/Youtube playlist for this work since it has a lot of musical references.
> 
> hope you like it!

"So, what you wanna do today?” Jax asked the moment you all walked outside,  
  
 "I don't know, but I have a kid, Jaxxie. As much as I truly want to run away on the back of your Harley with you, I need to take him home and be a mother" his half smile was capable of making any living creature weak on its knees. 

 

"Mother of the year" _shut up._ "Meet you at the hotel, doll, i got a gift"

 

"How do you know where we are?" you asked, watching the man get on his bike. Again, all he did was wink at me before the bike roar loud. 

 

 

Spencer had gone back to his place, or FBI - you didn't really knew - just after the hard conversation you two had, which made you feel bad and relieved and the same time. It was just too much right now. 

 

"Hey, I'm taking Matt to watch cartoons and eat Ice Cream cookies all night long and there’s nothing you can do to stop me” Nick walked to me, big smile on her face.  
  
“What are you doing, exactly?” As much as Nick loved your kid, you knew she had plans, her eyes were mischievous.

 

“Nothiiiiing” the girl fluttered her eyelashes at you “You knooow, you, J boy, you might get… busy” _I can’t believe you._  
  
“Okay, don’t worry, nothing is going to happed. I just… no, okay.” You could physically FEEL the redness on your cheeks  
  
“Ohh no, don’t you dare, no, no, no (Y/N), not the nerd again”  
  
“This has nothing to do with Spencer” your laugh was nervous. Of course it hadn’t nothing to do with Spencer, right?

 

  
  
  
SPENCER’S POV  
  
  
After everything (Y/N) told me, it was better I went away. Now it was the middle of the night and my phone starts ringing while I try to read. People have no respect nowadays.  
  
“Spence… can you please come here?” (Y/N) voice on the other side was low, like she was sleepy.  
  
“(Y/N) what happened? Are you alright?” she laughed a little on the other side, was she drunk?  
  
“I don’t know Spence, this is really some good shit I took. Jax got from this guy he knows here…” she went quiet again “wow, did you ever noticed how sheets are nice?”  
  
“(Y/N) what did you take? Where’s Matt? Are you alone?” I got up going for my car keys. _Oh god, (y/n) what did you do?_  
  
“Matt is with Nick, they’re watching cartoons or something, he’s sleeping in her room tonight…She thought I would sleep with Jax, which I didn’t, thanks to you.” me? What have I to do with anything? “Spence, I’m getting really sleepy, are you coming? The door is open, I wanna cuddle Spence…” this would be cute if I wasn’t so worried about her. I could still hear her breathing on the other side, even though I couldn’t understand what she was saying.  
  
“(Y/N) don’t sleep, don’t sleep until I get there, I’m coming to meet you. Please talk to me, keep talking to me” again she chuckled lightly, I was already entering my car.  
  
“I like you Spence, you’re the best. Sometimes I wish I could hate you or something, but I just miss you. I miss you, Spencer. I miss your kisses and I miss your body and I miss making love to you. I miss our life” As much as these words were everything I wanted to hear right now, I was more worried about getting there the fastest I could.  
  
  
  
Silence, breathing.  
  
  
  
"Will you fuck me when you get here, Spencer?" Okay, focus Reid, she is stoned. "Let's wake this whole hotel up, love" again the silence with her breathing on the other side. I wish I could really drive faster. "Do you remember that time after the BAU party when we got to play with your cuffs? That we spend the whole weekend in bed?" 

 

"Sweetie I am almost there keep talking, don't fall asleep please" like i needed more reasons to hate that guy, now he's drugging her? 

 

"Where are you Speeeence" she whined "I wanna kiss you stupidly" how she alternated from loving to naughty when under the influence of substances was pretty funny, to be honest. Again, i'd be loving this if I wasn't so worried. 

 

"I am coming for you (Y/N)" her laugh on the other side made me stop, _how can this person be real?_ Now i was laughing too. It was good to hear her laugh, i missed it, the warm of it.

 

"Speeeeeennnnce, i am waiting for you in bed, hurry" i am trying my best love, i am. Next was silence, complete silence. She hadn't hung up on me but i could no longer hear anything, not even her breathing. Oh, please no. 

It still took me a good couple of minutes to get to the hotel. I know I could have called someone to check on her faster, maube even I should, but that didn’t come to mind. Just that I needed to be there.  
  
As I stormed into her room I called out for her but getting no answers. She was not in bed nor on the couch, her phone was left near a pillow, though. My heart stopped on my chest when I saw her body on the bathroom floor.

 

"(Y/N)! Hi, love, can you hear me." Good, she was breathing. All around the bathroom floor there was pills and some other stuff. I pulled her head on my chest, trying to softly wake her up. "Love, can you hear me? It's Spencer, i'm here" she slowly started to move, trying to open her eyes.

 

"Hi Spence, i was feeling sick and then I just laid here..." A small smile on her face could ease my heart, but now I still was worried, trying to measure her pulse.

 

"Can you get up? What did you take?" She agreed with her head, even though it just didn't make sense

 

"I don't know okay? Maybe it's a couple of roofies... I wanted to numb this feeling inside me. And I got this. It worked, i guess. Now i just want to sleep, Spence"

 

"You are not sleeping until you sober up a little and I am sure you are not in risk. I'm gonna get you a cold shower, c'mon" I helped her up, turning the shower on and starting to help her with her clothes. She started to giggle again.

 

"You're gonna see me naked" was she blushing? i swear this was too adorable.

 

"Yeah, (Y/N) I am going to help you with the shower so I'm going to see you naked" now i was trying not to laugh at the situation

 

"You used to like me naked...when i couldn't bother to get dressed..." her tone now was of one who goes back in memories. A big shy smile on the face. I helped her into the shower, letting the spay of cold water hit her skin.

 

I was trying, really trying not to look at her body in any other way that is not look for bruises, but it was difficult. She still had a beautiful body and i am still a man who has feelings for her. She might have noticed because the next i knew her lips crashed onto mine, making me hold her so we would not fall. My hands automatically went to her waist, going further to the small of her back and her hips when I noticed she had recovered balance. She pressed her body harder on me, making a moan leave my lips so she could explore my mouth, biting my lower lip next. Her hands were tugging on my hair and when I realize mine were grabbing her ass and making her moan. 

 

As much as I was _enjoying_ it all, this was wrong. She wasn't sober enough for me to know if she truly wanted this, so with all strength and willpower I had I manage to pull her away. 

 

"Okay, lady, let's get you to bed" she whined again, making me laugh.   
  
With (Y/N)’s actions under the shower, my clothes were now wet, _great_. As soon as I helped her to bed, I start taking off my shirt.  
  
“Ohhh, I like that” I couldn’t see her face apart from her eyes, she was under the blankets, but the giggling on her tone was obvious.  
  
“Stop that, you’re drugged” I tried not to, but I was giggling as well, now she was making a ‘come here’ sign and biting her lower lip. ”You are such a dork” she pouted  
  
“Okay, boring stuff, I still have your old t-shirts you know? If you want one”  
  
“Why?”  
  
“Duh… to get dressed? Nor that I would complain of you not getting dressed at all…” (y/n) got up and went to the closet, getting two t-shirts I recognize, tossing the towel from around her on the ground and handing me the other “I like to sleep on them, reminds me of you.”  
  
She went to the bed again and I put on my old T-shirt. If she was so sure we were done like she said earlier, why keep so much?  
  
“Spence, can you stay? Just… stay” there was a pain in her eyes, a pain i only remember seeing once, on the worst day of my life.  
  
We stayed there in silence for a few minutes, I thought she was sleeping, her face on my neck and her arms around me. It’s been so long since I felt this, since I felt I belonged somewhere, her perfume around me, the rhythm of her breathing with my own. I was happy, above it all, I was happy.  
  
“I love you, Spencer.” She mumbled, her lips ghostly touching my skin. The words made me open my eyes and look down at her, she had tears on her cheeks “I though I would die every single day without you. I still feel this emptiness inside me…this fear eating me alive, that you’re gonna leave again. And that’s what I can’t bare, you leaving again”  
  
“I won’t” the words were barely a whisper and she closed her eyes again, letting a few more teardrops fall and leaning to me. Yes, I could have used this moment to kiss her and everything, I could, I wanted to, but all I did was kiss her forehead. I sure didn’t want her to think I took advantage or something. As my lips left her skin so we could snuggle better, another question.  
  
  
“Spen…” (y/n) was clearly dozing off already, her lips barely moving to the words “can we have a cat?” A smile grew on my face, _was she for real?_  
  
  
  
“Yes, love, we can have a cat”  
  
  
  
  
**END OF SPENCER’S POV**

  
  
Your head was killing you. You knew that before you were fully awake. Everything hurts actually. You should really stop playing with prescribed drugs. Or any drugs for that matter.  
  
As you rolled over the bed, eyes still closed, you felt someone else’s legs intertwined on yours. _Oh_!  
  
You noticed you were only wearing a T-shirt, no underwear. _Oh_  
(well, at least there was a Tshirt).  
  
You didn’t remember anything from last night after a some time you took the pills.  
You know Jax wanted to get it with you, and you didn’t. Did you?  
You were feeling bad about Spencer.    
Maybe you just don’t remember Jax being persuasive, and that he could be.  
  
  
_Please just don’t let it be someone you never saw before  
  
or your manager  
  
_  
Gathering all courage in your heart you dared to open your eyes slowly, looking for the face under the sheets. Oh, that’s bad.  
  
  
You knew that face.  
That beautiful face.  
  
  
Spencer was sleeping soundly, hair messed up covering his eyes.  
And he was wearing your T-shirt  
Well, technically his T-shirt  
You forgot how beautiful he was sleeping.  
_  
  
  
Was his face always this perfect?  
  
  
  
_ Before you knew your hands were running through Spencer’s face, tracing his jawline with your fingertips.The ghost of a smile appeared on his features, as his hands pulled you closer, on a delicate kiss.  
  
_Butterflies_.  
  
Oh!  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey i dunt know if i mentioned but i changed my twitter account to @thatlucifer - in case you want to say hi.
> 
> I also want to start some drabbles/short stories in case you want to request something  
> (I can write some mcu and supernatural btw)
> 
>  
> 
> btw, i was looking for gifs today and just found out my best friend has a tumblr fandom, how to tumbl now?


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